alive inside

meaningless words & thoughts of nothing
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Ezoic
2004-05-20 01:48:20 (UTC)

center of his universe

i almost called chad again today but then i started to
think about what he said to me and i was like no ur not
calling him. amber has been pissing me off latley to i dont
wanna tell her tho cuz i dont want her to turn it into
something that its not she dont want to call chad cuz she
is "scared" i say bullshit if u hate him as much as u say
you do then you would call him with out being scared. i
thought she would at least do it 4 me but guess i was wrong
i dont knpw why chad is acting like that or maybe it just
me maybe i am just talking this shit all the wrong way
maybe he just want to talk and thats all but still why dont
u want to tlk to me i am still here to ya know. nicole
asked me in gym today why i like chad so much i didnt know
really how to explain it tho its just hat when i am with
him i truly feel happy like i feel that finally someone
likes me again and i dunno when italk to him he makes me
feel so special like i am the only one here like i am the
center of hin universe. and i like that i just want to feel
loved again i dont know what it is like yea i know i have
friends that i can trust and shit but i dont have any
friends that i can tell all my secerets to nicole is the
closest i got to that but there are still somethings i cant
tell her just because i know the way she feels bout some
things and me and her dont exactly agree on somethnigs so
there are somethnigs that i just cant tell her and i hate
that i need some one who i can REALLY trust to keep all my
secrets and not pass judgement and someone who i can just
be compleatly honest with. i will prolly never find that
persont tho so i guess i willjust have to tell it to my
paper that is the only thing i have right now that i can
tell all my secrets to.


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