Theres only one you

Beautiful Disaster
2004-05-19 01:28:00 (UTC)

Nothing good stays.

Yeah you all know i am right. What is one good thing in my
life that has never left me. (Minus Becca and Kim.. but
give it time)I am right. Nothing ever lasts, things get
good then they go back to bad Chris comes Chris goes. I
just wanna be happy, and i just want Chris to come back.
WHY CANT I HAVE THAT?!?!?! Is that too much to ask? I
didnt think so, but no matter what i do.... it never
happens. Go ahead and say give it time, but it isnt true i
havnt been happy in atleast 6 years now (truly happy) and
i have waited for Chris for months now (and still fucking
am).

People are always telling me im such a good person and
that i have a wonderful heart and i am so strong. Its all
bull shit. No one knows how unhappy i am inside and no one
gives a fuck (minus becca and kim). I want someone to love
me and hold me, and make me feel worth something again. I
want Chris. I want him to love me and him to make me feel
happy and worth something again. But i dont see that
happening anytime soon and if he loves me he sure doesnt
show it. But it really doesnt matter if he loves me
becuase i will always love him no matter what. I just
really want him to.

Ok so good example right here.The weater outside looks
really nice sunny and a slight breeze, but there is
thunder and stuff. Yeah ok end of example.

So i watched chasing liberty with kim and becca today, and
it made me sad because one of the parts becca said
rememinded her of me and chris. Yeah so still a good but
sad thing. Yeah but the movie was good. Nice love storie,
predictable, but good.

So i went to my guitar lesson which was nice i am learning
how to strum along with the song now, and it is fun. But
sad because it is me and Chris's song. I miss him so much
yawl have no idea. SO i was reading my book today and it
rememinded me so much of Chris i was just smiling for like
5 minutes i was so happy. lol. You know i try to make him
like really miss me so he will see how much he loves me
like by not getting on for a few days or something. And it
never works but if he isnt on for like more then 2 days i
go crazy. How does that make any sense.

Ok well the moral of the storie is, i want to be happy, i
miss chris and wish he would come back to me and show that
he really cares and im tired. and i have a good book. and
chasing liberty is a good movie. The end. BYE.




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