RackingMyBrain

*~*SunShine*~*
2004-05-14 15:48:51 (UTC)

They desided to say it was a joke....

KCZ called me when she got home and told me that she just
told him that it was a joke...and that kinda made me mad...
What if I don't want it to be a joke? What I really do want
to know if RE thinks Aaron and I would ever hook up? I
kinda brought that to KCZ's attention last night. It kinda
seemed like, she was kinda surprized. Then I told her that
even if I wasn't "joking" then they would still take it as
a joke because it would just be better for them all to
handel I guess. Then I told her that MECE wouldn't want me
to hook up with him and she said " I don't think she thinks
anyone is good enough for you". I am seriously so freaked
out about dating a guy or even telling them about guys.
It's kinda at the point that I keep most of "my guys" to
myself. KCZ was all "well you know MECE is always going to
look out for you and make sure you get with a guy that
isn't going to be an ass like CCO was, the only difference
is that now you have someone that is like an older brother
(RE) and you know that he's gunna grill whatever guy you
diside to start something with." Just to let you know, KCZ
thinks I like Aaron and I think MECE and RE think I like
him too. But see even IF I did like him he's trying to or
is with brita or birtha... so... it wouldn't really matter.
But I think it's too much of a "joke" to even end up being
something serious. KCZ is all "watch you find out that he
is totally in love with you." She thinks that even if he is
interested in me he would say or act on it because of
Heather. Because Heather doesn't like KCZ & I hang out with
her and (as we all know she has started saying stuff to me)
she doesn't like RE because he defends KCZ and so... She
told me that right now that "the odds are just against
you". I told her that none of them would approve of him and
I together (IF anything worked out that way)because of what
has happened in like the past year or so.... But... people
do stupid things and are different around certain people...
so... and plus it was a while ago...
The thing that has been kinda buggin' me is this whole
thing with "brian". OK, so... he is some guy that RE knew
from high school and he is supposed to be coming to town.
When I was talking to MECE on the phone Monday night she
was all "I think you and Brian would like eachother more
and him and KCZ." That totally threw me off guard. Then
tuesday at school she asked KCZ if she would get mad if him
and I hooked up instead of her and him. But when I was on
the phone with her she was saying that RE sigjested that
KCZ ride with Brian when we go to medford for MECE's
birthday. Then I was all "That would be cool, you and RE,
KCZ and Brian, and then me and my pretend boyfriend." Then
she was all "it wouldn't be hard to find a guy for you."
Seriously... that has been buggin' me... HELLA BAD...
Because I have been thinking about it... and I can't think
of anyone that we know that would be interested in me than
as more than a friend. But...
KCZ and I are going out tonight so... we'll see what
happens... Maybe KCZ will meet Jimmy... and maybe he'll
like her... OMG yeah... I have been getting KCZ closer and
closer to being able to talk to Brian(psy guy) with out
getting freaked out. It was funny cuz Wednesday night I was
all "if you go talk to brian then next time I see Aaron I
will be all 'hey aaron what's up?' " and she was all " HEHE
OK!" so.. now I have to say that to aaron... It wont be
that hard to do...
We'll see what happens tonight...




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