Hybrid

en route to an unknown destination
2004-05-14 13:42:21 (UTC)

April

06 april
Spoke to dad on the phone just now.
He said grandpa's health is getting worse day by day and
that there is a 'big chance' that he would pass away soon.
I cried after hearing that.
Dad also said: well, he is 79 now. If the condition keeps
getting worse, it'll be better if he passes away because
this way it'll be easier for him and for us, too.
I know what dad was trying to say. I am sure he loves
grandpa a lot and is sad to see him suffer from illness
and aging.

So life is just like that?

You are born, you grow, you work, get
married, 'reproduce', bring up your offspring and if you
are lucky, you get to see them setting up their own
families and so on. If you are unlucky, you either die
before that or they just abandon you once they are
adults.....
Is that the way it is?

Grandpa. Please hold it in there. I still wanna see U
again.....

07 april
i am going to meet K in 2 hour's time then we will take
the train to Berlin together.
I am slightly excited about going there again, but at the
same time, a little bit nervous. I know his parents pretty
well already but i am sure i will still feel a bit uneasy
when they are around!

also, going back to england soon. I dont wana leave
him!!!!!! ......

but then, i will go insane if i keep doing nothing and
being trapped in this place. There are some unpleasant
people in Frankfurt. It's not like they are mean to me or
anything, but sometimes U can tell the hostility of
someone just from an unfriendly look or aloof
reactions......

13 april
The last 48 hours before I came back were really
difficult...

have U ever felt so sad that everything seemed to be
tasteless, even if it's your favourite food? has your
chest ever been filled with so much sorrow that you find
it hard to breathe...?
The moment which you are hugging him/her before you two
are seperated again, does it feel surreal? because you
know the next minute, he/she will be gone....
---------------------------------------------------------

LIFE GOES ON.
I know that.
I am trying to get myself together coz i am actually quite
scared about my upcoming exams.

it's just that.........i feel so empty right now.

i miss you.......

It's gonna be super difficult for me to fall asleep
without you by my side tonight.

K,.......




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