2004-05-12 23:19:25 (UTC)

to be continued...

all the different shes.

i think youre making a mistake but i would never tell you
that. i think making mistakes is our style. i think one
day i would like to spend the rest of my life with you. we
understand each other more than any two people as crazy as
us should. i worry that we're losing touch.

ive been thinking about you. i want to rearrange your
house and clean your bathroom. i think youre adorable and
you make me laugh.

i enjoy your attention. i get a kick out of how much you
like me, even though that makes me sound like a bitch. but
i dont understand it and a big problem for me is people who
dont know me liking me.

i wish youd call me. i havent seen you in so long. i
remember how you used to tap on my door in the middle of
the night and want to come in and sleep with me. i
remember writing ani lyrics on the wall and cutting all
your hair off spontaneously one night.

i love you so much more than i should. i think youre a
little crazy and a little lazy but you have the biggest
heart of anyone i know. i think i could lay down next to
you tonight and never, ever get up.

i want to tie you down and rip your hair out, every fucking
piece, chunk by chunk. i hate you more than i hate anyone
else. the way i feel when i hear your name is not a way i
ever want to feel in my life.

i still miss you. every time i see you, no matter how long
it's been, i remember how amazing you are. and i miss that
like crazy, i needed that so bad. and of course, i left it.

i love you more than anyone in the world. i wish you were
happier. i feel ungrateful for wishing you would just
leave, but a big part of me thinks it would be best for
both of us.

you thought i was so wonderful and told me so and wanted to
hang out all the time. we became friends really quickly and
i dont like to do that. then when suddenly you make it
clear that you dont really like who i am, i remember why.
so, yeah, fuck you for that.

you were my best friend as a child. i remember taking
showers together, our first boyfriends, spring vacations
with my family. and when we grew up, everything changed.
i think of you all the time and im sorry i couldnt make
myself go to your wedding. i couldnt watch my best friend
ruin her life for an asshole who didnt deserve you.

we were close at a simpler time. the four of us together
every day, long before breakups and babies... youre the
only straight girl i ever slept with. i love you because
youre sweet and strong and beautiful. i miss you.i wish i
saw you more. it used to be every day.
mondaytuesdaywednesday newyears christmas 9-11, every day.
now its every month. i dont think shes right for you. i
wish i could help you figure shit out.

you live too far away. youre one weird cookie but i love
you to death. im glad i never slept with you or tried to.
youre like my only straight and entirely platonic friend.

i think youre hot as shit. i admire your intelligence and
motivation even more than your beauty. i have such an
amazing time when i hang out with you and we should do it
more often.

...... i will continue this later.