Winding down with a great day
so there's basically one day of college left for nick.
well i mean i have something like 5 left but the rest will
be marred by the obligations of entertaining family
members and we all know that college has nothing to do
with familial ties but getting drunk. so today started
off with the fucknuts mowing the lawn at the un-godly hour
of 11 am. i woke up to the sound of a choking walrus
outside of my window as the big ass mower ran over some
sort of root. i got up and ran as i usually do unless i'm
so hungover it hurts to blink. i came back and just sat
in my chair for a while waiting for my lungs to either
collapse or shut the hell up while doing the mundane
things of the day (aka checking away message and scanning
my favorite porn-sites for new material....hehe, i mean
then i decide if i want to masturbate. ironically enough
i never do mainly because i'm so fatigued that i just sit
here and do nothing. i stare straight ahead for a while
until my nuts start to itch because the sweat beneath them
has solidified into a cyst pool. so i shower and get
ready to meet greg for lunch. as i'm sitting here reading
some of the fountainhead joe comes back from his drug
test. round of applause for joe. we bullshit some and
then i catch a ride to meet greg at sbarro....mmmmm. of
course first i have to sell back another book to get some
money and boy was i tense, i seriously thought they'd ask
for another fuckign cd. thank god they didn't and i got
no more dykes at sbarro, apparently now the islamic
institute of idiots has taken over there. they always
either yell at you or speak in the controlled whisper your
mom got when you were a little kid and you knew she was
inches from kicking your ass. either way it was good and
i meandered around for a while on campus and then finally
settled down on a bench to study derivatives. how
thrilling. basically that mean that i sat there and
watched people for a while which is a real joy for me.
there was this guy and girl who were flirting like all
hell. you can always tell when guys are being flirty cos
they actually don't act like dicks. i never know when a
girl is being flirtatious versus her just being slutty.
anyhow the guy was acting all goofy. here's a tip for you
girls if you wonder if a guy is trying to flirt. if he
sounds like a bad sitcom then he's flirting. guys who
constantly joke with you are either austrian (me) or
trying to get some (others).
anyhow he was being obnoxious and was worse was that the
girl laughed at everything. "huhuh, my name is
todddd" "oh hehe, todd how do you come up with these witty
remarks?" "my name's toddddddddd" "oh, you're so funny,
always repeating your name and drooling all over yourself
while whacking your hand against your chest" "my name's
well you get the picture. then i watched some chinese
people argue about something which always makes me laugh.
you see when black people get angry i get scared, when
arabs get angry i get annoyed, but when asians get angry i
just tend to laugh. their language just goes into
hyperdrive and pretty soon they're the color of wasabi and
out of breath. haha. hung chong dai!
that's right i said it.
then i had a great convo with my advanced finance teacher,
he's such a nice guy we talked about how everyoen outside
of america hates americans cos of bush. i don't think you
all havee any idea really, people hate americans like
whoa. and he was saying how atrocious it is that most
people just scoff at others and say, "well fuck
them....yeeeeha" and this guy is a man from alabama, born
i then followed the fat guy in my derivatives class around
for a while (i had nothing better to do and i just
happened to spot him a mile away). i just wanted to know
what he did on a daily routine. see it was blazing hot
today and this guy was hoffing and puffing like a fucking
locomotive, moving at a steady 1 mile an hour. a trail of
sweat came from him like the slimey film of a slug. and
he did the fat guy walk, i tried it for a while but almost
pulled a shoulder muscle.
then i came back and watched my buddies get high and then
we went to the dining hall that we always went to freshman
sophmore year. i'm gonna miss it so much, i had 5 plates
of food and as is the obligation, finished 3 of them. i
sat back feeling the demons of digestion grip my bowels in
quiet contentment of a day of great turns.
i even ended up getting my clay goblet, so that i can get
smashed in style tomorrow. merci beaucoup keith.