eidolon

shifting mists
2004-05-08 19:32:57 (UTC)

the sheep ...

.. you would deny it.. of course you would... of course...
like everything else that is wrong or hurtful that you do
it would be denied so convincingly... because you LIE so
convincingly... it would be denied and you would be the
victim... your oh-so-sweet words and hurt feelings would
pour free so convincingly to twist and turn and knot
things
around until i was the wrong one and you were the
victim...


Don't think that I can take another empty moment
Don't think that I can fake another hollow smile
It's not enough just to be sorry
Don't think that I could take another talk about it

...this is the way it has always been between us... you
NEVER do anything wrong... not ever... you never hurt
anyone's feelings... you never stab people in the back or
manipulate them... you never do any of this right?
RIGHT? ... no of course you don't... because you're
perfect... because you're the angel .... the angel you
show
to the world... the sweet, victimized individual ...


Just like me you got needs
And they're only a whisper away
And we softly surrender
To these lives that we've tendered away

... you take a knife and slice off someone's finger and
they rage at you for it's loss.... and what is your
defense? ... they took it wrong... THEY TOOK IT WRONG?....
anything you say..everything you say or do... if the angel-
like veil that hides what is behind and within is
breached... even barely breached for a glimpse.... you
twist and turn and knot until YOU'RE the victim .. the
hurt
party...


Don't wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over
Don't wanna be somewhere where I just don't belong
Where it's not enough just be sorry

... i had tried... i had tried to hold on to those i
love...those within my heart that i care about so
deeply...
i had tried to hold them close... hold them close and turn
my back like one sheltering another from the wind with
their body... but how does one fight against such
perfectly
constructed and convincing half truths and lies?...


Don't you know I feel the darkness closing in
Tried to be more than me
And I gave till it all went away
And we've only surrendered
To the worst part of these winters we've made

...the truth ... that is what most would say you use to
battle lies... but i've tried that in the battle to keep
those in my heart close and away from your clutches and
your lies... but your lies are more convincing than the
truth... and it has been so long that i've been fighting
that i'm tired.. i've fallen so far and lost so much that
i
have come to that cliff's edge of the canyon called
Hopelessness... and the ground is disintegrating beneath
my
feet faster than i can back up ...


I will not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I'm marking it down to learning
'Cause I am

... you will tell them i am delusional... paranoid... and
they will believe you... they all will... even the ones
who
have known me for years and you only a handful of days,
weeks or months... you will tell them you are the
victim...
that you are the one hurt... that you did nothing, have
done nothing... are doing nothing.... and they will
believe
you.... because i do not hide my dark side but leave it
out
for those to see along with the rest of me... they will
believe you... because you are the wolf in sheep's
clothing
and that clothing is so immaculate... your imitation of a
sheep so perfect.... that all would perceive you for the
true sheep and the rest of the flock as fakes...


Lyrics courtesy of "Bed of Lies" by Matchbox 20.