Crazy in Blue

Singing In the Rain or A downpouring
2004-05-08 16:55:27 (UTC)

Do You Dream Of Me . . .

DUE TO MY MANY PSYCHOTIC RAMBLINGS, I AM QUITE SURE THAT
THE 1 OTHER PERSON WHO READS THIS, HAS STOPPED. BUT THAT
IS OKAY, BECAUSE I WILL CONTINUE TO WRITE THIS SHIT, UNTIL
SUCH TIME THAT I HAVE A HUSBAND TO TELL ALL THIS SHIT TO.
SO I WAS TALKING AOUT THAT LETTER THAT I GOT FROM HIM, AND
HOW IT WAS HORRIBLE. SO OF COURSE HE REDEEMED HIMSELF BY
SENDING ME ANOTHER LETTER, AND SAYING ALL THIS
INSPRIATIONAL SHIT ABOUT HOW HE WAS PRAYING FOR ME, AND
HOW EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO BE OKAY. I HATE WHEN HE DOES
SHIT LIKE THAT.

THEN, WHEN I WENT OUT OF TOWN, HE CALLED ME, JUST TO SAY
HEY, AND THAT HE MISSED ME AND STUFF. I HADN'T TALKED TO
HIM IN LIKE 3 MONTHS, SO YOU KNOW I WAS LIKE MAD EXCITED
RIGHT. AND IT WAS JUST GOOD TO KNOW THAT HE THOUGHT
ENOUGH OF ME TO CALL, ON SOMEONE ELSES CELL PHONE NO LESS.
SO LIFE WAS GREAT AND GRAND, UNTIL I WENT BACK OUT OF TOWN.

I WAS SITTING IN MY CAR, TALKING TO SHEA, AND ALL AT ONCE
REALIZED THAT HE IS THE ONLY ONE FOR ME, FOR REAL. LIKE I
FINALLY SAID IT OUT LOUD TO ANOTHER PERSON, AND TO ME, IT
WAS A MONUMENTAL OCCASION. SO OF COURSE, AT TIMES LIKE
THAT, I WANT TO SHARE THAT WITH HIM, AND I COULDN'T SO I
GOT ALL SAD, YA KNKOW. BUT I WAS LIKE, IT'S OKAY. I
TALKED TO GOD AND WAS LIKE, LOOK HERE. THANKS FOR ALL THE
STUFF YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME IN REGARDS TO HIM, AND ALL I
WANT FROM YOU, IS FOR YOU TO TELL ME WHAT IS REALLY GOING
ON. SHOULD I LET THIS GO BEFORE I INTERNALIZE IT, AND
BEGIN TO MAKE IT TRUTH, OR WHAT? SO WHY, THE NEXT NIGHT
DID HE CALL. BUT I MISSED THE DAMN CALL, BECAUSE I DON'T
GET RECEPTION IN HER HOUSE. SO YOU KNOW I HAD TO DRINK
ALL NIGHT, TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER.

SO HE CALLED AGAIN, WHILE WE WERE OUT IN THA CLUB, AND I
HATE TALKING ON THE PHONE IN A CLUB, SO I WAS LIKE, DO YOU
THINK YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO CALL ME LATER AND HE ACTUALLY
DID. OF COURSE I MISSED THAT CALL TOO. BUT FOR ONCE, HE
ACTUALLY SAID I LOVE YOU, AND IT WAS LIKE GREAT CALM, AND
HAPPINESS AND GREAT. THEN I TALKED TO HIM LATER THAT
NIGHT, SUNDAY, AND WAS JUST LIKE LOOK, I NEED YOU TO NOT
DISAPPOINT ME AGAIN, BY SAYING THAT YOU ARE GOING TO COME
SEE ME, AND THEN NOT DOING THAT. I NEED A HUG, NOT EVEN A
SEXUAL ONE, WHILE WE CAN HAVE THOSE TOO, I NEED A HUG FROM
YOU, THAT WILL TELL ME THAT EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE
OKAY. AND HE SAID THAT HE WOULDN'T DO THAT TO ME. SO I
HOPE HE IS BEING SERIOUS, AND HE WILL ACTUALLY DO THAT FOR
ONCE.

SO RIGHT NOW, I AM IN WONDEROUS BLISS ABOUT HIM. AND WHEN
EVERYTHING IS GREAT WITH HIM, ER'THING IS GREAT WITH
ER'THING. YEAH, I KNOW, IM PSYCHO, BUT IM SEXY, AND THAT
IS ALL THAT MATTERS!

TILL HE PISSES ME OFF AGAIN,

CRAZY IN BLU