Corporate Creation

Greener With The Scenery
2004-05-05 01:46:16 (UTC)

Birth of a internal conflict

"never found our way out again cause to trace that blood
trail
is more then i can bear this is my spring
i finally fixed the car floored out of here i'll find out
who my friends are
the ones waiting tomorrow morning."
~Anatomy of A Ghost

Why do things seem to never turn out right. Sure school has
been a major problem over the past couple weeks, but right
now all I can think about is friendship.

Everyone is slowly leaving the group. I was expecting it,
one year and I'll be a senior, preparing for graduation and
leaving for college. But not now, and not for a guy. Five
of them have boyfriends or boys who will soon be
boyfriends. But Samantha and I stay remain single. It's not
a bad thing. I don't feel guilty flirting with multiple
guys. There is no commitment, there is no annoying phone
calls, but most of all there is no relationship.

But now, I feel like Samantha's falling for Nate, and it
scares me because I'm feeling jealous. I shouldn't be
feeling jealous. He's just my friend, sure he's my best
friend, sure she didn't even talk to him a month ago... but
still, he's just my friend. I may have had feeling for him,
I thought I beat those feelings, I thought I was over it,
and I should be over it. But I can't help but feel that
Samantha's breaking some law of friendship and I can't help
but feel that Nate's just encouraging her to make me
jealous. The way he looked at me today when he was talking
to her...

Maybe I'm just going insane.




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