bluemoon

The crazy world of me
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2004-05-04 06:07:37 (UTC)

MOOD~HAPPY AS CAN BE

SO RICKY AND I HAVE TALK AND WORKED THINGS OUT. THE NIGHT
THAT I WROTE THAT LAST ENTRY HE CALLED ME BACK SOON AFTER
IT AND WE TALKED UNTIL LIKE 5:30 IN THE MORNING. IT FELT
SO GOOD. SO EVER SINCE I HAVE FELT BETTER THAN EVER WITH
OUT RELATIONSHIP. IT FEELS LIKE THINGS ARE GOING TO GO
BACK TO THE WAY THEY USE TO BE. I WAS TALKING TO MY FRIEND
KARI ABUT HOW HAPPY HE HAS BEEN MAKING ME THE LAST COUPLE
NIGHTS AND SHE JUST TOLD ME THAT EVERYONE GOES THROUGH THIS
SHIT SO IT DIDN'T MAKE ME FEEL SO HORRIBLE.
I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. ESPECIALLY NOW. WHEN I HAVE TALKED
TO HIM I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT SMILE WITH HIM ON THE
PHONE. I AM THE HAPPIEST I HAVE BEEN IN A REALLY LONG
TIME. I HAVE MISSED THIS. I JUST FEEL REALLY LOVED.
SOMETHING THAT I NEVER WANT TO STOP FEELING FROM HIM. HE
IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME. I AM JUST SO HAPPY WITH US. IT
FEELS LIKE THE OLD DAYS AGAIN AND I HAVE MISSED THEM SO
MUCH.
SO I HAVE THIS NEW FRIEND KARI FROM WORK AND SHE IS
REALLY COOL. IT IS SO EASY TO TALK TO HER ABOUT STUFF. I
TELL HER EVERYTHING AND SHE DONT JUDGE ME FOR IT OR
ANYTHING. WHEN I AM UPSET THOUGH SHE WILL SAY SOMETHING
DUMB OR SOMETHING TO TAKE MY MIND OFF OF IT. SHE IS A
REALLY GOOD FRIEND.
SO I GOT TO TALK TO AARON THE OTHER NIGHT. WHICH WAS
COOL BUT HE KEEPS SAYING WEIRD STUFF TO ME. LIKE IF HE
EVER GOT THE CHANCE TO GO OUT WITH SHANNON, AMBER OR I HE
WOULD OF NOT WENT INTO THE MARINES. I DONT KNOW HOW I FEEL
ABOUT THAT. HE IS MY FRIEND AND I DONT LIKE HIM THAT WAY.
I DONT WANT TO FEEL WEIRD AROUND HIM OR ANYTHING THOUGH. I
STILL WANT HIM TO BE MY FRIEND BUT I DONT WANT ANYTHING
MORE. I COULD NEVER BE WITH HIM LIKE THAT. HE IS ONE OF
THOSE PEOPLE LIKE U WOULDN'T EVER WANT TO START A
RELATIONSHIP WITH BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT WONT WORK OUT AND YOU
DONT WANT TO LOOSE THE PERSON AS A FRIEND. EVEN THOUGH I
THOUGHT FOR A SECOND I HAD FEELINGS FOR HIM I JUST COULDN'T
SEE ME WITH HIM AT ALL LIKE THAT. I JUST DONT WANT THIS TO
COME BETWEEN US. HE IS MY FRIEND AND I WANT TO KEEP IT
THAT WAY.
I LOVE RICKY WITH ALL OF MY HEART AND I WOULD NEVER DO
ANYTHING TO HURT HIM. HE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME AND ALWAYS
HAS. I NEVER WANT TO LOOSE HIM. WELL I AM GOING TO GO
BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW. PEACE


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