2004-05-02 04:46:01 (UTC)


They didn’t know each other
she played by herself between the branches
of the highest trees
he just liked jello and playing on the swings

Look at that little boy they said
he’s gonna break some hearts one day
he’s really something special
he’s really something isn’t he

they had the highest hopes for you
to light the world that was made for you
and I didn’t know you then
but now
I can’t imagine a life without

someone it feels all right
to just settle down by
the only one I can sit down next to
and feel a force so strong it’s
so I take a seat
while you write a song
for someone else
and I just listen unknowing and feeling safe
like if this lasted forever it would be ok with me
or next to you with the radio on
or the band in front of us playing
and calling out for us to take each others’ hand
and they brush together for a second
and I know they’d fit so well
because you’ve taken it before in fun
only you let it go
and the words move me to tears
and the silence fits around me
like the warmth of your jacket
that smelled like you
when it was cold even though it meant
you wouldn’t have one
and you were nice to lean against
to talk to
to sing those songs with
to play guitar with
and laugh beside
and all of our nicknames and inside jokes
and funny faces..
but mainly when we look at each other
I realize my heart exists
and it's worth it to know
but I feel it breaking
because we’re so great together
such good friends you might say
except my heart doesn’t break when
I look in anyone else’s eyes

they knew you’d break some hearts some day
they knew you were something special
they just didn't know who's
because you didn't know me yet.

(and even tho i've shared all of them before with you i
couldnt share this one because you'd know it was about
you. i wish i could tell you but cinderella doesnt always
get her prince. ok that was way too corny. but really it
doesnt always work the way you want it to deep down. I
just wish that you could love me the way that I love you.
Through all of the people I write about, he is there.
Through everything, he is what remains.
If there was only one guy in the world i would need as my
friend, it would be him. If there was one love for my
life, i could only picture forever by him right now. Maybe
things will change. I hope so considering he has had so
many chances, but he hasn't taken them. so i assume it's
not like that and telling him would be too big of a risk.
I mean, i have seen him when he has fallen for someone in
the past, and it's not the same way. He treats me great,
but it's another level that he goes to when he feels it
too. For a little while i thought maybe, but nothing
concrete ever happened so i am left with memories of
softness that i will have forever but nothing concrete of
what he was feeling. I just wish I knew because other
people come and I get distracted for a time but they
always fade away because i start comparing them to you, my
standard, and they always fall short.

40 entries. 19 solely about you. 26 you were at least a
big part of. since january. because my day always includes
you. my life includes you in a big way.

It just seems like everyone will always fall short of you.
But if nothing ever comes of us i hope that someday
someone will impact my life in an even bigger way than you
I really dont know what else to say.)