The Blue of my Oblivion
the will to live
this will be short and sweet.
nothing thrills me anymore. there is no more excitement,
only disappointment. i'm pretty much abandoned territory
here. a baby on a doorstep. i pick the flaws out of myself
until there is nothing left except bones. i am worthless.
yesterday, i was walking to class and i felt someone
tugging on my hair. i turned around to a group of girls who
quickly pulled their hands back, as if they hadn't done
anything, and turned away. i turned back around and kept
walking, i felt one bottle after another hit me. i kept
walking, feeling the plastic drink bottles hit my back.
they grabbed at me, pushing me aside and still yanking my
hair. i turned back around and they smacked their lips at
me, "guh, we ain't talkin' to you."
well fine. just the geek in the glasses...not like i have
feelings or anything...
in retrospect, life has lost its thrill. i simply try too
hard to find the good in people. i usually like people
until they give me a reason not to. i like to give hugs to
people when they enter a room. smile at strangers when i
pass them. i am convinced that the world is a good place
and i am not worthy to be here.
i have, as they say, lost the will to live.
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