Angie

These are my thoughts...
2004-04-30 14:14:38 (UTC)

'I resolve not to...'


I resolve not to be such a worry-wart. I spend entirely
too much time worrying about what might be instead of
working on what I want to be. The other day I was driving
home after running some errands when I remembered I was
supposed to pick up Henry from B’s Music. So, I drove by
the house and turned down the street to head back to town.

Chris’ car should have been parked at the TV station, which
is across the street from B’s Music. There was no car, and
I went to B’s Music and there was no Henry. All Brian
could tell me was that Chris had left.

At home there was Henry and a message on the machine that
Patrick was trying to find him. So, I called Patrick and
he said that he saw Chris drive off in his car about 20
minutes ago from the parking lot outside TV3. He hadn’t
seen or heard from him since.

Granted, my logical mind thought maybe he was taping a
council meeting or something (which by the way, is exactly
what he was doing). But the anxiety section of my mind
worried that Chris had quit his job, or been fired, or even
worse – gotten sick of me already!

I tell myself, “Chris loves me.” Just the night before,
while watching Big Fish, Chris compared me to the son’s
wife who is the sweetest thing you’ll ever meet. She is
very pregnant and the son just found out his dad is dying
and has to go home. She says she will go with him, and he
tells her not to worry about it, and she just repeats that
she will go with him and smiles. And Chris looks at me and
says, “That’s you. You are that sweet.” Now, how can a
man say that one night and leave you the next??? There
isn’t any way that can happen.

But yet I still worry. I worry myself sick over nothing.
So, I resolve to change that behavior. If I start
worrying, I need to get up and do something else. There is
so much to be done at the house; it’s not a problem to find
something to do. And if it’s nice out, I can bring out the
blanket and read a book while Henry plays.




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