Ramblings of a Mom
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2004-04-28 12:20:00 (UTC)

Sorry so late...

I know I haven't written in a couple of days, but it just
seemed that when I would get around to it, the baby was in
my lap or something, so I wouldn't do it (I hate to type
one-handed, it takes too long!).
Here's the high and low of things -- my husband's birthday
was Saturday. He didn't tell me any ideas or plans that he
had, so I already pretty much had the day booked. This
included a nail appointment at 8 am. That means leaving
the house no later than 7:30 in the morning. I didn't
realize that he had plans for him and the older son, so I
got him up and ready to go at 6:35 in the morning (we were
trying to make breakfast at 7 with my parents). This was
the beginning of a very bad day! My husband starts
complaining (well more than complaining really) about us
being up and leaving so early in the morning on a
Saturday. He starts in like we do this EVERY Saturday
morning and how ridiculous it is, etc. The truth of the
matter is that I have not done this since before the baby
was born some 3 1/2 months ago! Anyway, we leave, he's
pissed off.
I talk to him from the nail appointment (because I had
noticed that he had called the cell phone and for some odd
reason it did not ring) and he's telling me what all he is
going to do and how here it was his birthday, maybe he
wanted us to go to breakfast together, and his whole family
left that morning. I tell him that he needs to speak up
about these things, and he tells me how he doesn't want to
be an asshole about things. Okay, I'm confused, he's
always an asshole, why not today? LOL!
So, moving on, my son's ball game is cancelled due to rain
(thank GOD) and we go to Walgreens for a few items
(including the birthday cards for my husband that I have
yet to have purchased!!), prescriptions (very important --
birth control and vitamins), and to get the film developed
from way back when. I am getting through this errand just
as quickly as possible and shelving all other errands for
another time so that we can get home to the birthday boy.
We get home, and he's angry and pouting, so Tyler and I get
no lunch.
We finally go to dinner with my parents and grandma and
things go relatively well. He even got serious and
thankful for the sentimental card that I gave him. We come
home, get the kids settled into bed, and then he wants to
play. I'm exhausted. I can hardly keep my eyes open, I
just can't do it. I tell him to just allow me to sleep a
little bit and then we can do something, but he's mad
again. He has been an absolute jerk-off all day long,
telling me how I 'fucked up' over and over and over again,
and do you really think that I want to stay awake to do him
sexual favors for that? Even if it is his birthday!
I try to make the moves on him after the baby gets up to
nurse later that night, and he pretends to be too far off
into dreamland to do it. Fine, then. Well, it's Wednesday
morning, and nothing has happened still.
Sunday he was so mad at me, he wouldn't even go to church
that morning (and that is a first since we started going,
he hadn't missed a single Sunday). It seems that we were
okay after church when I came back to get him to go to
lunch and get the older son shoes. Then later that day he
started in again about how I had messed up the day prior.
By that night, I had had enough. I told him that I don't
appreciate being put down constantly that way, that it
doesn't accomplish anything, change anything, so why do
it? I guess I upset him, cuz he rolled over (away from me)
and went to sleep.
Monday was a busy day here in the house and for the rest of
the day. It was my day to go to Sam's and to HEB and then
Tyler had a psych appointment and then Tee-ball practice.
We get home from everything, and there is some kind of
wooden framework in the driveway. I'll be honest, I had no
idea what it was or supposed to be. I just assumed that it
had to do with the storage shed that he had been talking
about putting together for the last couple of months. I
was sooooo wrong! My parents had given Don a $100 gift
card to Home Depot for his bday. He had taken that card
and gotten the supplies to build me a deck. God bless
him! No, it's not a large deck, it's not a fancy deck, but
it's a deck! I told him last night that I thought it was
for his storage shed and he told me, like I would build
that before I built your deck? COME ON!
Even though I get madder than hell at him and he can be
such a royal pain in the ass, it always come back to the
fact that we love each other, no matter what. He will
always take care of me and the boys, whether he gets mad or
is happy. He just proves time and time again that I don't
need to be afraid (because I was on that level again), that
he will not leave us, nor will he put us out because he is
angry or whatever. That we will work it out, it just may
take a day or two. He doesn't run away.
Quick baby notes and then I have to run. He has discovered
how to put his hands together and interlace his fingers.
It's just too cute! I was also mistaken when I said that
he was pulling up to a sitting position, he never pulls up
on things, he just sits up and curves over!
Anyways, gots to run, my Dad has knee surgery today and I
need to be ready to go if my Mom needs me to. Later!

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