void

dissertation desertion PARENTAL ADVISORY
2004-04-27 17:33:17 (UTC)

strange days lonely weekends quiet nights and eternal vigor

just stop already i've had enough. spires like tires squeal
against pavement toppling off in speed driven mad rages of
revenge, but for who and what have we found this hour to be
so entertaing as no other than yourself. leave me alone i
know this wont be the last time, but i am tired of the
subconsious bytes of memmory flashing themselves across the
screen of m eyelids. the morning hangs heavy on a monday
like yesterday but i could help but feel optmomistic, why
is the answer to so many lies retained to folly another
days worth of bread. i can see the towers spiral to the
ground in my memmory being grounded to my experience being
ground out of existance at a rapid rate that is so
unnoticeable as it takes it slow toll steeping in the end
rate of unpayable damages. my heart is broken but not near
so much as my mind which fragments these dialouges between
strangers on the street to change the pace at which we can
understand each other. what is left to say of leafy green
skylines peaking with crack of blue gray clouds swirling in
the dust of this century. last century hangs so poingently
as an example of what not to do i commemorate all those who
did not step into this new time with me whos hand i held in
life. what is heavier than this because its getting heavier
to handle when i though the weight of the past would crush
me as my identity thoughts and personality disentigrate
into some sort of schzophrenic disease. i feel like a
cognitive dissociative fugue full aware that there was
something or someone i left behind but i dont know where
anymore and i cant step back out the door i've opened and
walked through to find the comfort of famous freinds
standing by as time transpires its mortality upon us. i've
got this great idea for a new sonw, well the melody is done
i've just figured out what it is that i will write about.
the passing distance of all the security we felt to just
throw aside careless the very negligent transitory state we
are subjected too. what is the meaning in the lack of
definition as my thoughts become to complex for my
vocabulary not to express in an abstract form, the poetry
you speak to me echos off into the distance and only the
sadness of decay remains around to comfort me with picture
of we. not lest is more is less than to be found here with
pleasure of your hands to give the only ailgment remedy
that i cant prescrib. what is more than this to me is
little but what is left is less than it takes for me to
care enough to say i love you as those feelings now fade
too. once you encored this finale but now as you stand
grimmly by watching this past change into a bleak future
you understand the nature of your sacrficies and the
transition from one context rather the continual flow of
this single context you begin to know the emptiness that
can bestow its good graces on everything you've found to
cherish. hush now little child it all goes away like a
fariytale until it seems like it was much the same never
real at all something that happened in a dream but this was
all real and much like legends there are some facts but the
rest is clouded with emotional impressions and the attempts
to idealize/idolize something in memmory so it never loses
the luster it will never lose anyway it is just a gem in an
eternally growing collections of whatever it is you will
spend your time on. goodnight and i must bid the rest of
your life to go on without me in it.




Ad: