Anonymous

A Story a Day
2004-04-26 15:16:37 (UTC)

Day Eight (56)

10:59am
And so I hope somehow that I've acually gotten off on this
whole writing adventure. It's hard. It's a chore at first
but before I know it, it's over and I feel like my day isn't
wasted. I just need to do this 23 more times and i'll be
done. The month will be over and everything will be back to
normal.

I remember in Film School and later Writing School how
adamant I was that I didn't need to write. I didn't. I
could take it or leave it and be fine for the rest of my
life. I hope somehow that this whole business has shown me
that I do need to write. It's part of how I see myself.
How I react to the world is shaped by what I put on the
page. So as of now I'm committed to just continue until I
die. I may never be good enough to actually affect anyone
on a mass scale but I hope to constantly be improving my
craft.

Now, I have to talk about that festival yesterday. For some
reason I walked in on the showing of the expensive 35mm
films with backing and like unit production managers. the
point is, I'm really not sure exactly how I'm supposed to
compete with that. Not that it's a competition but those
people are my age and they were walking around in their
brown and grey sports jackets and their frizzy curly hair
and they just looked like young directors. they looked like
they had posters of directors on their freakin bedroom
walls. And they'd built some kind of support system. It
didn't look like they'd held that entire film up by
themselves like I would have to do. As much as I want to
make films now, like right now. Like immediately, I feel I
have to get a group together who's willing to shoulder some
of the burden and work for help in return with their
projects. That may be all together possible. I need to
establish myself, my site, then start recruiting. I need a
producer, a talented camera man, a lighting guy, a sound
guy, and maybe four to six young actors that I can call any
time to be in one of my films. Avoid the whole casting
thing. That's 8 to 10 people besides me. I can do any of
those jobs except for acting. Well, I could but, I'd rather
not. So I only need 4 regular guys besides myself and I'm
good to go. That doesn't seem so hard to round up. I've
got one already. Tony. He's probably got some friends. it
could just be the matter of finding a couple more people who
really want to make movies. I'm going to write Tony now. I
need to start something soon. My life is ending one minute
at a time.

2:36pm
Haha! He wrote back. Fantastic! And he has a partner who
I can only assume is as willing. So I have something to
look forward to. Please don't let me fuck this up.

8:06pm
I left the house. Today is particularly dreary and shitty
outside. Yesterday was cold. Summer better get off it's
ass! I'm back in the apartment, and immediately the
laziness sets in. I'm sure that's the same for everyone but
for me it's doubled by the work i actually have to do on the
damned apartment. so let me go do some of that now. maybe
it'll make me feel better about everything. I got very
inspired today by reading about a few director's first
features. how hard it was, how easy it was. how late some
of them started, etc. i'm old but i have to put it in
perspective. i'm not that fucking old. and i'm writing
everyday. at least i can lean back on that.

2:12am (next day)
well, i wrote. I can't really say that it's at all useful,
but it's over 5 pages and that's what's important.
goodnight moon. goodnight stars.




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