parlarelaverita

--D.e.l.e.t.e.d.S.c.e.n.e.s.--
2004-04-24 01:35:37 (UTC)

the latest.

last weekend ... i went to megans on friday... shes pretty
cool we're so strange, actually i dont feel like sharing
the story but we ended up with a box full of krispy kreme
donuts courtesy of the guy at hess, and we made friends
with the guy outside the bar. ya thats about all im gonna
say on that one.

saturday was julliar's birthday party...which was cool
cause i got to meet their friends from tarpon, they're
pretty ok i guess. besides, gianna was there and amy was
and jerry and john and alexis... gianna was being very
RUDE and DEMANDING... again i wont elaborate in case
anyone ever gets to this entry... haha. gianna needs to
get laid though. please, somebody have sex with my friend
gianna? she doesnt really have a sex preference.

then last sunday i went to emma's ALL FRICKING DAY to work
on the debate... only we only worked on it a couple hours
and then walked around and visited people in her
neighborhood... whats his name stoner had the best house
ive ever seen. the front doors are made of stained glass
and when... tom i think it was...opened the door you
looked in and the front of his house is a garden, and he
was just hanging out in there. i want a house like that
man.

last night gianna and jerry and i went to see el grande de
coca-cola. gay. gay. gay. GAY. so we left at intermission
and just laid outside and watched the sunset and then
looked at the stars and talked and stuff, it was pretty
cool.

speaking of gay (haha) , i met harry in person the other
day. hes cool. we talked about john. SO HOT.... sorry amy.
sorry. i guess i have a thing for guys with mohawks.
and...sunglasses? ok thats pathetic sounding. but he had
sunglasses on today.. mm baby.

k i guess thats it...

oh, ya i guess jason and i are still together but i hope
that doesnt last long. im getting sick of this. i dont
feel like i can talk to anyone about him, and he wont even
talk to me ... ahh.... what the hell ever happened? i keep
tellin myself to be strong about this and NOT EVER get
depressed and start hurting myself again. thats NOT going
to fix this... besides i told jerry i'd stop doing that.
he doesn't know it, but i just needed to tell someone i
was going to stop, and i thought he'd listen. i never told
jerry why i was doing that in the first place. but i
thought if i did it again i'd feel bad for lying. so thats
why i told him ....i have to do something about this or
just get out of it and forget about jason. i dont think i
can forget about him though... i've started to try but....
its so hard. its kind of ironic that the guy who made me
happy every day of the last 9 months of my life suddenly
is the only thing that will make me lower myself enough to
cry. it used to be bad when i missed him, but now i miss
him in a different way. in a way he was always there
before, well as much as he could be, but now he doesnt
even try. i tried talking to seana though. she says
whatever i do dont call him. i havent called for a week
i'm waiting for him to call me but i guess its not
happening. i guess he gave up a long time before i did.




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