I got in a fight with the bus driver
so it all started last night. i go downtown with my boys
and of course after polishing off 17 shots i decide its
time to pass out and go home. i wake up this morning and
do a phone interview, then get a ride in from jamie and
sitting in german realize that i am completely shit faced.
no joke, i was getting progressively drunker as i did
nothing in german. by the end of the class i was
so then i amble my way to the fucking bus and sit down,
world spinning, opening up the paper hoping that there is
something in there that would catch my thoughts and keep
them from breaking my consciousness. so there i am at
11:00 when i see this dorky guy at the door of the bus.
he's a real dorky guy i mean it, i mean he always plays
his gameboy advance and just seems really passive and
shit. basically he's one of my bus buddies. these are
people that i hvae an implied relationship with thanks to
the bus. we know each other but don't know a damn thing
about each other. i have 2 bus buddies. this guy and the
french girl (with whom i actuall speak) but i realize just
how little i know them considering i don't even know her
name, but i'm guessing its sophie or some shit.
anyhow, i digress. there he is, gameboy advance in hand
banging on the closed door, with the bus driver looking
away, sorta like how waiters do it when they don't want to
serve you. then he did something unbelievable...he just
pulled away, but then he got caught behind some traffic so
the guy ran after the bus.
now alcohol is my red bull. it doesn't give me wings it
gives me balls. i was fucking pissed and tanked. i threw
my paper down and stormed to the front of the bus, saying,
(rather yelling) "what the fuck is your problem!". i
actually did that, i still can't believe it, i never do
that. so there i am in my stupor of rage next to the bus
driver and here is the ensuing convo (all of which lasted
about 10 secs. really. as we were stuck in the traffic:
"what's your problem, why can't you let him in?"
"look i have a time check to keep, i have to leave here at
"well you're stuck in traffic now, so open up the door for
"what's your problem, don't be an ass."
"open the door."
and then my moment of heroic glory flooded upon me as the
door opened and i felt the gush of wind. i quickly went
to the back of the bus as the guy got on. he didn't say
anything to anybody and just sat down, in what i guess was
a state of agitation for him.
open the gates of heaven st. peter. i've done my duty.