spector

lost and confused
2004-04-22 04:54:55 (UTC)

ok

hey i dont know, twice in one day. the point of cutting
isnt to kill urself but to realive stress. even tho its
dumb. i know, i dont plan on doing it again. i want to go
and drive even though i suck at it, i just want to leave
for a little while, and aaron ur wrong about me not being
fazed when u hugged me, you dont know what that ment to
me. haha mainly cuz i dont tell him right. its midnight
and i havent done anything. im a bad kid huh?
i'm not nice, just a pushover or something. self hate.
hah. i wanna do something and hang out with people. i dont
know. i think im gonna go get a hair cut on uh friday ya,
and then a week after skool ends im gonna bleach streeks
in my hair and then dye those a really deep dark purple
its gonna be weird. and then after that i have to
volenteer at a hospital, nothin to do this summer nope.
haha im gonna dye my hair odd colours and then work around
old people AWSOME. no. why do guys have to do that. you
all start to like em, n then poof they are jerks for a
little while then not then u like em again and they are
like girls but less complicated and when they say i dont
want a gift, its not code for, i want a gift and it has to
be white jewlry and a red rose!. i wish i could like
cuddle with someone or sumthing i dont know maybe then i
would feel less alone. i dont really know.. do i feel
alone? maybe just terrified of whats coming next, its not
good to be afraid of life jamie. when i was driving, my
mom let me have control of the radio, it was awsome, i
like being able to do things on my own, dont like to feel
incompotent. dominics a pot head again, he reeks of it. bie




Ad: