Red Mini Punch

I'm a Lone Ranger
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2004-04-21 19:03:10 (UTC)

WTF am I to do?

Wel, I think my mum and dad are at Tesco's. So I thot I
would txt my mum saying will you please get me a nice
coloured hair dye for the yucky ginger bits at the front
of my head. But then I heard her phone go off from the
kitchen. So I decided I might as well go delete it,
seeingas she is A. either in her bedroom (can't be
bothered to check) or B. just forgotten her phone (not
like her). She had to messages in her inbox from Andy.
One said, I miss you lots babe. And the other said U
sexy, unpredictible woman u. But these were sent from
like 2 and 9th of April. Okay I just heard them, so they
are in the bedroom. What the fuck am I to do? I feel
sick. I don't know what to do. As soon as I leave this
fucking place the better. I thought it was over with
Andy? I'm so unhappy. I feel depressed. Why is mum
doing this to me? I need to get awayyyy. One year and a
half left. Seems too long! Mum's gonna leave dad, sooner
or later. She is in "love" with Andy. I hate her for
this. I hate my dad, I can't help but blame him, I mean
why would she need to go out and fall in love iwth someone
elde. Obviously I know it's not dad's fault, but I can't
help it. ARGH! This is shit. Infact, last time this
happened I wrote a poem about it.

The tension in the air,
I know something soon will start,
There is tension in the air,
An aching in my heart.

I've picked up little clues,
Maybe I've thought too quick.
But still, the little clues.
I feel frightened and I feel sick.

Fate has already been decided,
I can't compete with that,
When fate has been decided,
So at my computer I'm sat.

I'm watching the beginning,
I already know what's to be.
I hate to watch this beginning,
I'm scared of what I'll see.

Phone calls till midnight,
Secret rendezvous',
Text messages all the day,
I sense the end is soon.

I catch snippets of what's said,
I'm feared I know the plans,
Why talking is done at night,
It feels out off my hands.

What can I do? What can I say?
When I myself am in shock,
I can only speak in poetry,
With no one I can talk.

I feel so alone, scared and broken hearted,
I'm preparing for the tears.
Loneliness, Frightened, An aching in my chest,
This is me, preparing for my fears.


Yeh anyway, more later, well actually I hope there isn't
more to report on later.

Decaying Heart x


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