Amnesia

A week off...

...and just in time. Work was becoming a hassle with all
the video work I've had to do lately. The crew was way too
small to take on such a large project as filming 5 movies
plus previews. It was unfair to the directors. We were the
ones who not only were responcible for directing, but also
for some of the camera work, costumes, props, set designs,
the whole script, will do editing, and whatever teh hell
else. It wasn't a pleasant experiance for a first movie. It
kinda scared the living daylights out of me in the
beginning. Especially since I also had to act in my piece,
due to a 103 degree temperature to one of my actresses.

Now it's over, I just have to edit, and I got a week off of
work so splendid. I get to catch up with friends, take care
of business, shop, spend more time on editing, meditation
excercises, and ofcourse updating shit here.

One thing I don't like. I get a week off and every time I
hang with my friends now it's my call on what to do and
where to go. I hate that. I hate it really much when they
are all wondering and they all just turn their heads to me
and say: "Hey Dorothy it's your day/week what do you wanna
do, where do you wanna go? It's up to you."

I don't like being in control of such things cause:
1) they don't agree with everyone,
2) I can't make up my mind (indicicive)
3) Don't like being put on the spot
4) Don't like suggesting something when I don't have a car
that will get us there, or it will cause conflict with
someone's schedule.
other points as well but these are main. Why do they keep
doing this to me. I hate it so. I've had so many days like
this that you would think I'm always on a holiday. There
was that time I was to leave for Germany, and my birthday,
this whole week. Yikes.
I can't make a good decision cause I would have to take
everything into the equation and there's always a loose end
somewhere.

Por example:
-The number one thing I would love to do right now is club,
but hardly any of my close friends are the clubbing type,
adn there are no parties going on;
-Let's all go to so and so restaurant to eat, or to so and
so to play something, but there is a lack in budget for
some people being students, which we understand, and even
if you offer to pay they feel bad and that just brings that
to a bad solution.

Tomorrow I'm going to Giordannos for pizza with Oscar and
Dwight. I know there will be a food conflict for the pizza,
there always is when it comes to where to go atleast, but
here it will be even worse cause we will have to share a
pie, and I'm a veggie. So unless it is all cheese like last
time which would really suck for that type of thick pizza
we might not reach a compromise. Unless we throw some
veggies in there which might taste weird.

CANNOT WAIT TILL SATURDAY NIGHT THOUGH. I'M IN LOVE WITH
DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS. SERIOUSLY I LOVE IT WITH A PASSION. I
CANNOT WAIT UNTIL WE GATHER TO PLAY IT NEXT. I CANNOT WAIT
TO GATHER THERE EARLY, GET FOOD, TALK WITH THE GUYS AND
ANN, TO PLAY, TO ACT ON SUCH BIZZARE SITUATIONS, TO SEE
EMOTIONAL REACTIONS, AND GOSH I REALLY LIKE THESE GUYS. :0))

I love how I can cuddle with Chris, I like how cool Eric
is, I like Carithers dwarvy personality, I love Dwights
story telling and humor, I like Oscar's screwyness most of
the times, and ofcourse I love the presentation of it all
by the DM Jimmy. (You can't live without Ann's nymphiness
and deep breathing but she won't be there this saturday.) I
love these guys. I hate them though cause they make me
dread the week until I get back there to Eric's. It's never
truly the same unless they are all there. It's a group
effort to be this freaking awesome. Our 5 hours of playing
is not enough for me. I love it and want it on a daily
basis, which is kind of a good thing that I don't get that.
I shouldn't see them all too often. I can spoil
relationships well too much like that.