Remember to Breathe
2004-04-21 04:20:07 (UTC)

36 night stand.

I have been dumped. I've never been in this situation
before. It hurts, a lot.

Insanity is defined by addiction counselors as "Repeating
the same actions over and over and expecting a different
result". I find myself fully fallen into the paradigms of
self-destruction. Humans, in general, are self-
destructive, but at the same time self-centered, and isn't
that ironic?

I'm so stuck in circular patterns in many aspects of my
life, that it is time for a change. I have come to hate
school, and I have no passion for my major. I know too
many selfish people. I'm tired of melodrama. The only
things keeping me here are my apartment (which i love) and
my job (which i enjoy). People have come and gone so much
in the past two years that I haven't gotten close to
anyone that is still here.

I have a feeling that something good is bound to happen
soon. I'll figure out what I want. I'll get more
involved on campus, and maybe meet some new people. I am
only striving for simplicity and contentment. It doesn't
sound like much but that's a lot to ask for.

I'm just tired. I'm tired of my own emotions. I'm tired
of breaking down for no reason. I'm tired of my lack of
passion. I'm tired of others' lack of compassion. I'm
tired of being self-deprecating. I'm tired of being in
this slump that causes all of this negative reflection,
prosed for others' entertainment. I am a better person
than I am letting myself be.


"Well you cocked your head to shoot me down and I don't
give a damn about you or this town no more."
-Modest Mouse
"Perfect Disguise"