hckygal

hockey gal
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2004-04-20 20:43:17 (UTC)

ok, my feelings for Michael are..

ok, my feelings for Michael are getting stronger. I dont
know how to explain them, i care so much, and i never want
him to be sad or upset or anything. i always want to be
with him, i never ever want to let go of him. i dream about
him so much. like today in the tub, i had a dream that he
surprised me and walked in and kissed me. I have never had
a dream like that. i just feel so comfortable with him. he
may be like 16 years older than i, but it makes no
difference to me. one thing i do hate is the feeling of
stupidity cuz he knows so much about sex, and i know so
little about it. i dont get how it is such a turn on for
him, but it is. i mean, its more scary to me than anything.
he says it my "innocence" but i dont understand it. i have
no other way to express my feelings for him except to hold
him, and kiss him, and never let go. i want to be with him
so much. last night was a perfect sign of it. i got so
needy of him. it sucks not being able to see him whenever i
want to. these dreams i keep on having are the worst cuz
when i wake up, i know it is going to be awhile before they
become a reality. i want them to be a reality so much too.
being away from him is the hardest thing ever. i wish today
was my 18th birthday, so i could escape from here and be
with him. i dont wanna wait any longer to get my license. i
need to be with him right now. i love him with everything i
have.


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