DayDream Believer
2004-04-20 18:49:23 (UTC)

Cough in the fight

It feels like me and Tommy are in a fight right now,
though we have not been fighting... I absolutely sure
there is something that bothers him at the moment, but he
says no everythime I ask.
Suddently he`s so diffrent, his mood has changed, its
verry bad, it takes nothing to make him upset with me,
feels like he cant get away from me soon enugh.
He`s been like this since Satturday at least, Im home
today and hope everything will get better when I come back
I hate it when its bad between us, and he knows it! But it
seems like he is fine with it.
Im afraid to say it, but he has gone back to the way he
was before christmas, when he found out that he did not
feel in love with me. And Im so scared, scared that it
might be true, my nightmare has come true once agen. But
Tommy says its not like that. Though I belive that was
what he said last time ....

There is nothing wrong with Tommy, we`re verry driffrent,
but we love each other verry much. If he`s not in love
with me agen, the I will let him go.
The fight the last half year had been hard, but if it
worked, the it was worth it. But if it didnt, then there
is no use of doing this agen.
I love him so much, but I also want him to be happy, and
if he`s not happy with me, then I want him to do what ever
makes him happy, even if it is leaving me.

Dont get this wrong, there is no talking of splitting up,
I only said if...
Im a dramaqueen comepared to calm Tommy when it comes to
our relationship. It means so much to me, and its not
something I take easy.

Maybe I`ll call Tommy to nigh and see how he`s doing.