Ad 0:
2004-04-16 01:34:34 (UTC)

Life is fucked up

I still love Renna and she says she still loves me but I
don't know. I mean, I believe her and all but people tell
me that and then they stab me in the back. I don't mean to
hurt your feelings if you read this Renna, just remember
that I've gone through a lot of shit lately. Now, speaking
of that, my step-father lost his job and he's blaming it
all on my mom meaning it's going to get violent. If I'm
suddenly absent for a few days, call the local prisons
I'll probably be there. I will hit that bitch if he tries
anything on my mom. All I have to do is leave one mark and
I go to jail! YAY! Away from this place. I can't even get
**hugs and kisses** anymore. I'm sad. She doesn't want me
to be sad. But I'm an asshole and people have been telling
me that I'm right so I guess I'll just believe what
everyone else does. I'm not going to commit suicide,
though taking enough pills to bog my memory sounds like a
really good idea right now. I was just fine when Travis
left, don't know why I feel so down right now. Planet
BattleGround wasn't even able to make me happy. Now that's
fucked up. Usually Renna makes me really happy but I don't
know...I mean, I might actually love her, as in "love,"
but then again I'm an ass so how would I know? If you read
this and you want to be contradictory to what I just said
you can go ahead and spam me on turkmeistr1 for either AIM
or YIM but I won't listen cause I know it's true. Even
Tara admits so why can't you? Agh... I love all 6 of my
real friends that actually show affection by fucking
talking to me, those would be: Travis, Renna, Daniel,
Rafe, Chelsea, and Aaron. Those are the only people that I
feel really like for who I am. I'm not even sure if they
like me because of that. Maybe I'm just an outcast sent to
Earth by Satan to fuck up everyone's mind. No wonder all
my relationships last like 10 seconds. If I'm going to
take pills, Ali, which ones should I take? You would know,
so please IM me and help me or something cause I'm
actually interested. Well, I have to go play Rummikub with
my "family" that loves me OH SO MUCH! yea to
ya'll later, if you care. If not just say I'm not one of
those ppl u mentioned so I'm pissed now and just leave me
alone and say you got that from here so...bye for now..

Oh yea, I love you Renna!! Please don't leave me here all