Koralreef

An inconcluded life
2004-04-12 20:31:17 (UTC)

The 2 cows explanations

Subject: THE "TWO-COW EXPLANATION" OF ECONOMICS]

A CHRISTIAN: You have two cows. You keep one and give
one to your
neighbor.

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one
and gives
it
to your neighbor.

A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.
So what?

A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.
You feel
guilty for being successful. You vote people into office
who tax your
cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.
The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a
cow and give
it
to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes
both and
provides you with milk.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both
and sells
you the milk.
You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both
to support
a man
in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift
from your
government.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:You have two cows. You sell
one, buy a
bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows.
The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the
other, pays you
for
the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell
one, and force
the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are
surprised
when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on
strike because
you
want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign
them so they
are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the
milk.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer
them so they
live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't
know where
they are.
You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them
and learn
you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count
them again
and
learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but
you don't
know
what a cow looks like. You take a nap.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which
belongs to
you.
You charge for storing them for others.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter
into a
partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have
1000 cows and
the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship
them.

A TALIBAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You turn them
loose in the
Afghan "countryside" and they both die. You blame the
godless American
infidels.