Amy Sharpe

Amy Sharpes journal
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2004-04-12 17:51:17 (UTC)

It's been a while ... Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do

It's a year since me and Oz first fucked up... or rather I
did. And it still effects me, and it always has. Since the
very first second since Jake first told me.
"what have you done to Jamie?" he asked me, he sounded
I was worried I didn't know what had I done? I was scared
I cared about him so much.
"What are you talking about, I don't understand" I replied
I knew something bad had happend and I knew why. I had told
Oz that I was seeing someone else earlier that week.
"You knew he was suicidal!" Jake shouted at me
Now I was scared, Terrified what had I done!
"What the fuck happend... No I didn't!"
"He's in hospital! he stabed him self!"
"WHAT!? Hw is that my fault? Is he ok?"
" I don't know!"
Now we're back to square one, I love him but I feel
selfish everytime I tell hime that because I know It could
end in hurt!but I would do anything to be with him! I love
him so much but being with him would meen losing my family
and loosing them and knowing I could loose him to and the
thought of being lonley is driving me crazy!
Pluss Oz isn't going to be much unless if Distilled Mind
get big and if they don't then I'd be dragged down with
that. And as much faith as I have in those guys I know that
There is a chance they may fail. But beleive me I would do
anything to stop that, I would sell myself if it meant them
making it big! I'd do anything for Jamie! my love for him
is greater than anything ever!

amy xxx

mood:confused, hurt, angry, lonley
music: ALanis morissette- utopia