someone in the vast nothingness

Who really Cares Anyways?
2004-04-09 21:16:28 (UTC)

Fun Quotes

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life
exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has
tried to contact us.

After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to
me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone.'

Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or
fattening. Anything not fitting into these categories
causes cancer in rats.

The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible
worlds. The pessimist fears it's true.

Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is
finished. If you're alive, it isn't.

To attract a man, wear a perfume called 'New Car
Interior.'

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.

Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look
stout in a fur coat.

Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you
will usually find that he is.

There are easier things in life than finding a good man.
Nailing Jell-o to a tree for instance.

Mankind is stupid. If you forget, they will remind you.

Men are like fish. Neither would get in trouble if they
kept their mouths shut.

What a nice night for an evening.
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many
memories.

Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on
the surface.

On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.

The world's full of apathy, but I don't care.

Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.

Prejudiced people are all alike.

Those who judge others will burn in Hell!

Exaggeration is not all it's cracked up to be.

Cooperation can only be reached if we work together.

As far as I'm concerned, treachery will sometimes bring
loyalty into question.

It doesn't matter what temperature a room is; it's always
room temperature.

I always try to do things in chronological order.

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

An oral contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!

I always wanted to be a procrastinator!

Don't be redundant by repeating yourself.

Some people type so fast that forget to include

I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me
paranoid.

Free advice is worth what you paid for it.

Entropy just isn't what it used to be.

I keep telling myself that I am a pathological liar, but I
am not sure if I believe it.

Not only am I redundant & superfluous, but I also tend to
use more words than necessary.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

He doesn't have much of a reputation, or so I've heard.

I disagree with unanimity.

I have my doubts about disbelief.

Avoid Alliteration. Always.

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

Always and never are two words you should always remember
never to use.

Having a smoking section in a restaurant is a little like
having a peeing section in a pool.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your
house.

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the
leather straps.

Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's
forehead.

In case of emergency, break glass. Scream. Bleed to death.

Alone: In bad company.

If ever you should need my life, come and take it.

Razors pain you. Rivers are damp. Acids stain you and
drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; nooses give. Gas
smells awful; you might as well live.

When I die, I want to go like my grandfather did,
peacefully in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like
all the passengers in his car.

For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better
class of people.

Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

The trick to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and
miss.

Be alert - the world needs more lerts.

Okay tha's all for now. Sorry it's so long, but they're
amusing, aren't they?




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