spector

lost and confused
2004-04-09 14:20:08 (UTC)

just woke up and well i feel like i forgot to breath

yesterday, i dont know, it was fun but it felt like i
forgot to breath, i didnt forget to breath though, i just
had that empty painful feeling in my chest, like i was
missing something, it went away when i was messing with
joel. thats the only reason i was, and for the fact that
im an imature brat most of the time. Something i dont
understand right now, is why I still miss dominic, i keep
thinking about him every single fucking day and im tired
of it. i dont want to miss his touch, his voice the way he
used to make me feel the way i looked at him, his eyes
when he looked at me. the way he would play with my hands
when we were sitting talking. the one time, we were
hanging out after school at the park, the way he held me.
god i hate this. I'm not suppose to love him if he forgot
about me!!! i know he has moved on, because he has a girl
friend. FUCK.. ok im just a lot frustrated right now..
GWAAAA i think im going to cry. i dont cry. not for these
things, i always feel like crying though. GRRR FUCK FUCK
FUCK... i think that, i think that we should all just
fucking perish and have a slow and painful demise. how
long has it been, almost 4 months i think. jesus fucking
christ ( im a jew , its ok for me to do that) this sucks,
i just want to talk to him or .... i could never be with
him again, damnit theres that pain again... fuck this im
going to the bathroom




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