Aa-chan

Diary of a Deranged Fangirl
2004-04-07 15:14:44 (UTC)

But... But... Screw It...

Ah yet another wonderful day in unemployment land. God I
would kill to get a job. I may have to kill to get a
job. At least I know the person I would kill wouldn't
have to get up and go to work the next day. But killing
is wrong. Like my baby Solid Snake says in Sons Of
Liberty, "There's no right part in murder, not ever." So
cute, so profound.

But I'm getting bored with sitting at home all day. I do
go out sometimes, but at this point, I'd much rather go
out to a place where I know in a week or two a nice
healthy paycheck would be waiting for me. At this rate
I'll never be able to get an apartment or fulfill my dream
of J'aime and I having a nice quiet townhouse in the
suburbs. With two and a half bathrooms and a nice quiet
place to sew in.... Sniff... Sniff...

I know, I sound depressed, but the irony is I'm not. I'm
just really bored today. Plus I had a really lousy nights
sleep last night. This damn daylight savings time really
has me going nuts. Last night I went to bed at about
1:30ish, then woke up at about 5:30ish, stayed up for an
hour, fell back asleep, woke up again about about 7:30
something, got up, took a pee, went back to sleep, and
woke up again at like 9:40. I wish my sleep patterns
would go back to normal. Damn farmers and parents groups,
they'll get theirs in hell someday.

Actually the going to bed so late last night was my
fault. I was up taking corset bunny pics, which, as I
suspected, came out a billion times better when I took
them in my room. I guess because its such a small space,
the lighting has a chance to filter out more. Only thing
is I'd much rather not have my anime posters in the shots,
but I'm darn sure not taking them down for the sake of a
few photos. If I had photo shop on Toshi I could alter
them better. Remove the background around me. But alas,
I only have crappy programs for altering photos on my
little Toshi. And what I have will have to make due.

But you know something, even after I was done with the
photos, I still couldn't sleep. I was having acid reflux
problems right before bed. Wow, that hasn't happened in a
very long while. Not since before I left Delaware.

Quick Side Note:

The last few months of living in Delaware, I was popping
acid reducers like they were Pez. I often forget that
when I'm under a massive amount of pressure, my stomach is
the first thing to start bothering me. Ah, live and learn.

However, I was having really really bad acid reflux last
night. Probably because I ate a piece of cake a little
before bedtime and my tummy was like, "What the hell am I
supposed to do with this at 12:30 at night?! Dude, I'm
supposed to be off duty by now, what the hell are you
doing?!" I was going to try to ignore it and sleep it
off, but when your tummy is cursing you out in two
different lanugages, you listen. So I got up and went
downstairs to grab some Tums and thankfully it stopped.

Well this morning I took my corset bunny photos and posted
them up. I'm not going to tell you where exactly they are
posted, but my more "adult" fans will know where to find
them. And the one bunny pic on my yahoo instant messenger
account is the best one.

So next Saturday is the film festival. And I have a
slight problem. Okay. Now, as you all know, I have a
date coming down from New York to attend the showing of
Otaku Unite. This will be not only our first date, but
the first time we will have met each other face to face.
That's a lot of pressure, but not the problem. The
problem is, I had asked Kirstin to go with me to the film
festival too and now she's bringing her boyfriend.

Okay. I'm all for double dating. Actually no I'm not. I
think it's the stupidest concept next to the Bush/Chaney
Administration. Why should two couples go out? What
purpose does it serve? However, my little lamentations
about double dating aside, I really don't want to do a
double date with Kristin and Jeremy. Mostly with Kristin.

See... Once again, I'm going out with someone who I will
be sleeping with. That may be the very basis of our
relationship, just sexual. So I don't want her to throw
her two cents into it, making assumptions or judgements
when I'm not going to be in a commited relationship. See,
I know how Kristin is:

"I don't like him..."
"I have a bad feeling about him."
"Why are you going out with him?"
"You need to stop meeting guys off the internet..."

And a host of other bullshit! I'm really not in the mood
to hear it. Plus she has this silly idea that I need to
get her approval about the guys I date. Dude, I really
don't need your approval. I could care less what you
really think. When I want your opinion, I will ask for
your opinion. Until then keep your two cents cause I
don't have change!

A little harsh... Okay, very harsh? Yes it is, but
that's how I feel. The only opinion really that matters
to me is J'aime's opinion. But even then, she understands
that when I say I'm just sleeping with someone, I mean
it. She knows that I'm not going to pull another grand
disappearing act, but Kristin... I know that's exactly
what she's going to think and do and really I'm not in the
mood to hear her shit. Especially on our first date. God
knows I'll be under more then enough pressure without
having to have her add to it. So I'm going to ask her not
to come. And I'm going to tell her the truth. That it's
our first date and the first time we will meet, so I
really want it to be just him and I. Besides, she needs
to spend time alone with Jermery anyway.

Woo-hoo: Wai, I'm very pleased with how my little sexy
Easter photos came out.

Barf: Nanimonai

Current Song: Pearl Jam's Jermery




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