Codesmith

Life, Or Something Like It
2004-04-07 11:05:08 (UTC)

Ordinary Yesterday

It's 614am. Like yesterday, I imagine that despite it
being Spring it will probably be in the sub freezing
temperatures. The sky's a sort of dark purple, ... if I
had just woken up with no clock, I would not be able to
tell which sort of dusk it was.

Yesterday was interesting. Well not really. After the bus
ride, I thought to get some work done like I had planned.
Instead, my therapist and I just goofed off for the better
part of the day. She's been alot more... touchy feely
since the thing with Beth. Which I find quite curious,
and ... at the same time a little comforting. I guess on
the one hand, I do enjoy physical contact ... the feeling
of being all snuggled up with that person, or when she
hugs you, smiles in that sort of lustfully promising
way ... As I might have mentioned once before it's the
physical contact which I find therapeutic. She
understands.

So I was talking with Mel yesterday ... not about anything
important. As usual, we just chit-chatted till it was time
for her to leave. I might add, talking with Mel much to
the chagrin of my therapist, who still feels that I'm
setting myself up for something more hurtful later on. I
can certainly understand that concern, ... but there are
so many things which prevents me from getting attatched.
So many things.

I woke up this morning at 530am. I'm not quite sure why I
keep doing that. Now I remember. It's to write in my
journal. Ya, that's working out pretty well considering
how I spend most of my time trying to wake up.

I keep thinking bout what Beth told me the other day. She
kept wondering if I was upset with her, and although I am
a bit jealous ... I am certainly not upset. It's not as if
we had an exclusive relationship, although ... I think I
would have enjoyed that very much.

I think its a bit ironic that when I'm on here, I have
barely anything to write about or I'm desperately trying
to think of something. And other times, when I'm away from
a terminal I keep thinking of things to actually write
about. Well, I should probably get ready for class.

Beth is still asleep online. Pretty cute. She's such a
cutey.

My therapist stayed over last night. We were working on
some discrete mathematics stuff, ... made me blush when
she told me she wouldn't mind falling asleep with me ...
in bed. It's about 702 am now. I think she's beginning to
wake up... I think I know what it is now. She gets this
way when there isn't another woman around that can
possibly get my attention. But anyhow... I should probably
get ready for class, and wake the therapist up.




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