2004-04-07 02:56:46 (UTC)

i just lost it completely at..

i just lost it completely at like 10. completely out of my
mind lost it like its been coming for awhile. and she
doesnt even fucking care like all she cares about is if i
call when her fucking bitch is there and why cant i
remember how much it fucking hurts when i see her and just
stop this cus i just cant take anymore from anywhere
fucking school and work and my fucked up body and all the
pain ive been in and then this on top of it i cant fucking
take it and im trying so hard to be strong but im not im
NOT A STRONG FUCKING PERSON okay and i cant fucking deal
with it and i cant deal with her not even caring and why
cant i just fucking say fuck her cus shes never going to
leave and she doesnt love me and im a fucking idiot i swear
to god im not going to be able to do this much longer im
going to drive off a bridge on the way to work one morning
or leaving school one night and i dont even want to live
anymore because its hopeless and im at the end of the rope
and i am convinced i wont survive this everything just
hurts so bad inside me and outside and i cant i cant i cant
why cant she just. fuck her. i know ill never see her
when this class is over anyway so what am i doing shes
never going to do anything and its never going to be better
anything any of it its not getting better and its time its
just time its time