Deborah

T r i x i e' s D i a r y
2004-04-06 21:21:50 (UTC)

Over and over

I don't know what to do. This weekend i met sum girl
chris is bein wit n it killed me. I dunno...its so
crzy.... like i know things btwn me n him r never gonna be
the same n i don't think i can deal wit it... n its not
like we chose this option.... it just happened.... i luv
em n i wanna be wit em but i can't. my mind is so
scrambled right now that i can't even see striaght. i
don't understand this... y if 2 ppl like each other can't
it work out??? this weekend was one of my best with
him... i just don't know y i can't move on w/o him...well
its now like 11:30 n i talked 2 chris n i wanted 2 ask em
so bad what the hell he sees us as if anything but i just
can't get the words out... he said 4 me 2 call em back in
a lil so i'm gonna try again lol... i honestly don't know
what i want anymore... i talked 2 danielle 2nite and i was
tellin er not only do i feel this way bout my guy problem
but everything in my life right now i just dont know what
2 do wit it. She said i should take a break from everyone
to clear my head and shit... it sounds like a good idea
but i don't think i can do it... i gonna keep gettin mixed
up in stupid shit n keep bein confused bout everything my
mind is so scrambled right now... i just don't get it....
i can't stand school nemore and i feel like i shouldn't be
here n the only reason i am here is b/c of my parents and
i feel like i don't know how 2 tell em i'm not ready for
this... college has always been thought of as a great
time... meet new ppl.. learn and do more things... but to
tell ya truth it sux... college is full of depressed ppl
and if ur not depressed when u get here u soon will be...
ur whole life changes drasticly and i don't think that ppl
r ready for that kind of change.... i not... 2day was my
breakdown day... out of nowhere i started cryin and thats
how i've been all fuckin day. well i'm tired i thinkin
bout all this so i'm gonna call chris n then i'm gonna
chill wit some of the girls...
dazed and confused,
Trix




Ad: