Jules420

The Adventures of Jules Santana
2004-04-05 16:20:14 (UTC)

Work It Like You're Working A Pole

Oh my god, so it’s been forever since I’ve written but with
good reason. As you know I took my ass up to NYC this past
week to see and meet Janet Jackson. Boy now that I just
thought about it, this is going to be one hell of a long
entry because so much happened. Well not so much, but of
course there were issues between me and Orlando, but I’m
jumping the gun right now. Let’s deal with one thing at a
time. Well it all started with the drive up which went
surprisingly well. I mean we made great time, despite the
normal traffic bullshit and we made it to the HMV and
parked and got the cd’s with our wristbands to allow us to
go in and see and meet Janet. So we then go to Rose’s apt.
and chill with her, and unload all of our stuff. We smoke a
joint, hang out and get something to eat and it was just a
good time. Then we went around drinking at different
places before she had to go to class, so needless to say
she was a little wasted on our account, which was
hilarious. So afterwards, me and Orlando found a great
place that started their happy hour at 3pm (god you gotta
love new york for that one reason, early ass happy hour).
So we got bombed, well I don’t know about Orlando, but I
was sufficiently drunk for it to be only like 5pm and all.
So we didn’t have to meet Rose until 615 which was good, so
we went shopping and I got this new shirt and a bag from
H&M which everyone seems to really like. So then I went
and bought a glass bowl and we all had a really good time
and all. At this point we went up to Rose’s and got booze
and I decided that since me and Orlando had to be at
Battery Park the next morning at like 530am, that we would
just have some drinks and turn in early. Well apparently
that wasn’t the case for Orlando, because he intended on
going out and partying in Brooklyn with Matt and all of
them. So then he decides that he’s going to go at 11pm and
just meet me early in the morning at one of the subway
stops. Now I normally don’t get jealous over stuff like
that but I mean I just felt a certain way because I know
Janet is me and Orlando’s thing and for him to bounce and
just go and do whatever (though I know I was invited, but
declined since I wanted to well rested) but I just felt a
little dissed. So then the next morning when I went to go
and meet Orlando, the subway was fucked and I knew I
wouldn’t make it on time, so I just decided to screw the
damn early morning show and watch it on good morning
America while having a morning cocktail. (lol – so typical
of me). So anyway, I knew Orlando felt a certain way about
it, but I couldn’t do anything about it. But then later
that day, we had mad sex which of course didn’t mean I
wasn’t still a little upset but just needed to get off.
Lol. So then after this, we go and meet Janet, which was
fucking amazing. She’s so small, so busty, and just down
right beautiful. This Damita Jo album rocks my fucking
world. I had to quote one of my favorite lines from one
of her songs as the title of this entry. But anyway, I
came back on Wednesday night, and had a good time. Then
was off on Thursday and hung out with Wanda and just had a
good time. I’m really enjoying the time off she has because
it’s just like old times when we were like 16 and hung out
every moment. So anyway, this Friday, Orlando of course
wanted to show out again. He flips an attitude and all
this shit, I mean it’s not even worth going into to that
degree because I’ve written about it all the time that this
happens. So anyway, I haven’t spoken to him since online
on Saturday where I told him how unhappy I was and how he’s
made me honestly feel like I’m not good enough for him and
that I agree with what his friend Bob said, that I’m not
good for him. I honestly don’t think I am because all that
happens is that we fight, argue or something insanely small
has to become a huge issue. How this will pan out, I’m
still not sure. It’s obvious that he wants us to be
together, but actions speak louder than words and his
actions are not that of me wanting to be with him as more
than just a friend. It’s too much at this point. I just
don’t think I can do it, I’ve tried, and I’m just being
stupid and living in such a fairytale. And though it was
like a fairytale in the beginning, it’s slowly turning into
a nightmare. I can’t take it, and I’m not sure what I’m
going to do, but I think we’ll have to put up boundaries
and all that stuff now. I don’t even want to see him at
this point because of all of this. I feel like I so don’t
deserve this and that it’s just fucking me up, but then I
feel like I’m being selfish and all just by only thinking
of myself, and that I don’t want to hurt him and kick him
while he’s down, but to be quite honest, he’s been down for
2 years now. I don’t know. I just talked to my friend
Tony and told him how I so want a boyfriend, but that I’ve
held off because I’ve been waiting for Orlando and that now
I don’t even know how to go out and meet people at this
point. I’m going to have to focus on Julian at this point
and just take care of myself. Ohhh, wish me luck. Anyway,
Damita Jo is looping on my cd player here at work and its
fucking amazing. Oooh and now the song “Warmth” is on, its
so nasty “Nothing can compare to….the warmth of my mouth”.
That’s part of the chorus….goddam I love this bitch!!!!!
You fucking rock Janet!!!! (enough with the psychosis…I’m
out).




Ad: