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2004-04-03 23:21:56 (UTC)

April 03/2004


So, I'm extremely pissed off today, so let's ream into my
sister and everything that bothers me about her.

First off, we'll start with the car issue. Jocelyn will
NOT let me drive her car unless it's for something to her

Now, I wouldn't bitch about this, but let's just put it
this way: She had no problem with me driving her car
before I sold my car (an act she disagreed with).

So what's the deal?

I see it as one of two ways.

A) She's paranoid about letting other people use her car,
and feels that I shouldn't drive it in case I crash it.

B) She feels some weird need to punish me for selling my
car (which she thought was a bad idea).

Alright, now, A) is fair, however, before I sold my car,
there were no issues about me driving. I have a perfect
driving record (2 years no accidents or tickets) and before
I sold my car I was free to take her car whenever I
wanted. As soon as I sold my car though, it became an
issue to borrow her car, even for something as simple as
going and grabbing a pop from the store. Now any time I
ask, her reply is "You shouldn't have sold your car."

"What the fuck?" is all I have to say. Because I sold my
car, you feel the need to withold being a nice person?

Anyways, I like to give her the benefit of the doubt and
just go with A), since it's unfair of me to assume
otherwise (even if the evidence is contrary.)

Secondly, the house. Almost every single day, I am
reminded that I live in HER house. It's not our house,
it's HERS. Now, I wouldn't have a problem with this, if it
was actually her house (and not a rental) and I didn't pay
1/3 of all the bills (no exceptions). It just seems unfair
that everything is HER way in the house, without any input
from me.

1 - I am not allowed to have any personal property in
sight, except for the dvd player and the cd player (because
they use them). However, they are allowed to put out
whatever they want, whenever they want (I don't think
curtis realizes the problem, so I just focus on my
sister). It's just stupid to me that I have no right to
have any of my stuff in view of people, but they're allowed
to do whatever they want (I pay 1/3 of the bills, remember?)

2 - Any modification to the house (redoing the office) is
done without my knowledge. I had shelves ripped off the
wall of MY room to use for the office without even being
asked about it. It's not that I care about the shelves,
it's just the blatant discourtesy that is shown to me by
doing such things.

3 - The cleaning. This is a stupid one. We have a chore
list that everyone must complete daily. Sounds cool
right? Except if you look at how it's set up. One of the
stupidest things on it is the "$5 fine" for not doing a job
in a "timely fashion." First off, the fine is obviously
designed to get money out of me, since I don't give a shit
about collecting money for jobs that haven't been done.
Like seriously, if you miss something, oh well. Deal with
it later. There's no need for me to say "PAY UP YOU
FUCKER" when you make an honest mistake, or are too tired,
etc. As well, the range of time for fines is completely
arbitrary, which is stupid as well. I was fined one day
for not doing my chores before I went to work, even though
I intended to do them after. Apparently I wasn't timely
enough. However, Curtis and Jocelyn can leave their work
till whenever, because a) I don't give a shit about fining
them and b) I am of the mentality of "who am I to
arbitrarily decide when something needs to be done?"

Gah. It's just stupidity when it comes to that chore
system, especially when I usually do their daily chores for
them (because I'm a nice guy).

Next up in the land of psychotic sisterhood, comes MONEY
HANDLING!!! My money situation's been sketchy, but I knew
I'd make rent this month. I asked my sister if it was
alright to pay my rent on the second, and she asked me to
pay it partially on the 1st. Her words were "Just make
sure the money's in my account by 6am tomorrow" (6am on the
2nd, in reference to the first $200 only)

At 11:30pm, I walked up to the bank and deposited my check
for $200 that I was paying my sister with. I deposited it,
walked home and transferred the money at 12:10am, 5:50
before the 6am "deadline."

Oh the fun begins today though. The checks that my sister
had cashed at 12:01am on the 2nd. Since my money was 9
minutes later going in, the checks bounced and jocelyn
ended up with some NSF fees.

Today, I was told that they want ME to pay the NSF fees. I
understand that I have a partial responsibility for this,
considering it's my money that caused the bounce, but you
also have to look at what I was told:

"Just make sure the money's in my account by 6am tomorrow"
^-Well, I did that.

"The checks bounced because your money wasn't in soon
enough, you have to pay me"
^-Wait... because you told me the wrong time, *I* have to
pay for your mistake? What the fuck?

I'm going to talk with Curtis about this tonight, and tell
him how I feel about it, and if he thinks it's fair that I
only pay half (which is a decent comprimise on my part,
considering I'm getting reamed). However, if it comes down
to it, I don't fucking care about the money. They can have
it all. Fuck it. It's not worth fighting over twenty-five
fucking dollars.

I've been thinking about what the major problem between my
sister and I is, and I thought of something I'd like to add
to that. I'm a fucking doormat. I let her do whatever the
fuck she wants, and I don't speak out against it. I just
bottle up my resentment and get more and more pissed off
daily. And she's been doing this to me for so long, if I
speak out against it, I KNOW that I'm just going to get
told to get the fuck out of HER house (God that irks me).

So what am I going to do? I'm just going to bend over,
grease up and take it up the fucking ass until I get gone
into the military. I mean, what's the fucking point of
fighting it? She's never going to change.


Jocelyn is going to "InSite" at Edgewood (detox facility
where Curt went) from the 18th - 24th. Why is she going?
She says it's because she wants to learn more about herself
and her dysfunctions. I seriously have a suspicion though
that it has more to do with the fact that she thinks I have
huge mental issues and wants to know how to handle me.
Yeah, maybe I'm just paranoid, however, she has pushed me
at least 3 times in the last 2 months to either a) go to
Edgewood or b) go to psychiatrist.

It's cool and all that she cares about me enough to go to a
facility for me (if that's the case), but really, she's
handling it all wrong. She's concerned about me having a
problem (addictive personality or something like that) and
thinks that going to Edgewood will give her more insight
into what's wrong with me. However, what will most likely
end up happening (I say this because she does this with
almost all new knowledge) is that she will talk down to me
about what she learned, and it will further drive in
the "I'm always right" spike that she's got in her brain.

Why oh why does my entire family have to be insane?


Glass is:

Brain is:

A stiff drink.

Listening to:
Constant Bitching and Moaning of Hypocrit.mp3

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