Nick's Journal
2004-04-03 17:00:07 (UTC)

McDonald's doesn't fuck around

so i took it upon myself to go and eat something extremely
unhealthy. oddly enough i looked past the inviting bell
of taco hell to the golden arches. i guess it was part
nostalgia and part stupidity, but i decided to have a big
mac in honor of stefan (he and i went to mcdonald's every
day in austria). so there i am looking around at the
options and i remembered that they were going to phase out
the super size option. so there i wads thinking about how
incredibly stupid this is,i mean it's sorta like treating
hte public like a little kid. "you abused this so now
we're going to take it away from you". i always like to
get it cos the drink is like a fucking bucket of coke and
i don't have ot ask for a refill. so there i am thinking
about how offensive it is that they are phasing it out
when i tuned in to my environment.
there where about ten people there (all seriously
overweight) and EVERYONE single one of them got super-
size. seriously, it was like there was no other option
for them. so then i'm thinking that maybe it will help
the obesity rate, i mean jesus, people seriously can't
control themselves (me included).
so there i am eating the grease soaked product when the
manager came up to me and pointed at a silver car and
asked me, "is that yours?" i responded with a "no" and he
screamed, "we got another one boys". so apparently
because this mcdonald's is right near campus some lazy
fucks park in their parking lot. truthfully it's not that
great of an offense, i mean this one car was the only one
really in the parking lot, but like i said, mcdonald's
doesn't fuck around.
of course after mcdonald's you have the grace period of
10,000 shits. my mcdonald's shits are like sex, hot,
heavy, and propelled out of my anus with a ferocity
usually attributed to a badger in heat. see, whenever i'm
forced to shit on campus i always take the stalls for the
handicapped cos they're so damn spacious. i can really
stretch out when i'm punishing the facility. but when i
was in there i noticed something stupid. like all stalls
this one had a coat hanger on the stall door, but this
hanger was up near the top of the do
they expect that the guy in a wheel chair is going to heal
his ass and get up and hang his coat up? do handicapped
people even wear coats? i figure they stay inside most of
the time. you know what i'd hate? i'd hate to be a guy
in a wheelchair on the 20th floor of a burning building.
you gotta rely on others to carry your crippled ass down.
have i already mentioned that?

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