Xx Millie xX

Life Is For Living, Rite?
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2004-04-03 12:49:56 (UTC)

You Dont Know what You've Got (Til Its Gone)

Trust me on that one. Ive just had the most harrowing
experience of my life, to date. I came so close to losing
something that means so much to me I would have been lost
without it. And why? All because I didnt have the guts to
turn around and tell someone how I really feel about them.
Everyone ended up getting the wrong end of the stick and it
all went disasterously wrong. My life had settled into a
nice little routine of ecstatic happiness and total joy,
then in the space of one hour it all started crashing down
around me. Just because I wasnt brave enough to face my
fears, and my emotions. Id rather run away from them, and I
nearly did, until I realised how much I needed the thing I
almost lost. If I didnt have it Id be devastated. My whole
world looked like it was about to turn into this big, empty
mess, with nothing to look forward to. And everyone was
telling me Id be ok, and Id bounce back like I usually do.
But they didnt realise I lost way more then the obvious. I
nearly lost everything that has ever meant anything to me.
But as the saying goes, you dont know what you've got till
its gone. And I never really understood it, but I do now.
When I realised everything Id ever really known might be
ending, it felt like I was having a heart attack. There was
this horrible, stabby pain in my chest. It felt like
someone was ripping my heart out. Plus I broke down in
college, but I dont think anyone important noticed. Thank
God. I always told Phil he'd never see me cry, and I dont
think he did. Open Access technicians saw me cry. Pitchfork
saw me cry. My mates Genna and Kelly saw me cry. Lecturers
that are never gonna let me forget it saw me cry. But none
of my other, more important mates saw me cry. Which is a
good thing, as I can relax that they havent seen past my
kind of tough exterior.

Xx Millie xX


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