Angelic One

Sorry for My Mistakes
2004-04-03 07:13:50 (UTC)

Dear Rob

Today is the anniverary of my Grandfather's
death, and as I look back and reminisce over the last
few days I had with him I couldn't help thinking of you.
A couple of my family members even asked if you were
coming to my Mom's wedding. Even though they only met you
a couple times they remembered how you were there for me
and everyone else who was at the hospital that first day.
I remembered how you told Ryan to be nice to me that nite
at bowling, to protect me from anymore pain. I will never
forget that time we spent together, and I couldn't ever
repay you for the strength and hope you gave me back
then. Funny now how much things have changed, isn't it?
In just a year there's been a complete 180. Now if I
called you, you wouldn't even answer or return my
messages. Now you're engaged and I won't even be at the
wedding.
I feel duped, like I must've been absolutely retarded to
think that caring was enough. I thought it was okay that
we were growing apart when you and Candi got together
because thats what friends do... they grow apart, but they
never stop caring. At least that's how it works for me.
I 'll be eternally grateful to you for everything you did
for me last year, and it doesn't matter how many years
down the road it is, I hope someday I can try to repay
you. See that's how it is for me, to me you are still a
friend. Friendships don't end for me, and sure you might
hate me and never talk to me again, but I can't do that.
Regardless of how you feel about me, I'll always consider
you my friend. You told me that I was two-faced recently,
I wish I knew why you felt that way. If I knew what I had
done that was so terrible, I at least could try to fix
it. I've screwed up, and so has everyone else, including
yourself. I've tried to make up for my mistakes, I've
repented and appologized and done what I can to better
myself from my mistakes. For some reason though, its not
good enough and it never has been, so I just have to know
that I've done what I can and since its not enough, I let
go. I love you for who you were, the friendship we had,
and everything you were to me. However the past is gone,
and will never be again, because even if you came back to
be my friend again, I'd be too strong to be duped again.

I'll never forget the person you were, but I'm not willing
to accept who you've become.


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