rachelyn2002

The Real Me
2004-04-03 05:03:10 (UTC)

regretting old times

god damn...i hate it when i'm in this state of mind. A
feeling of regret of everything i've done in the past,
even the lil things. I wonder what things would be like if
i had done that one lil thing last week or something.
Kinda a depressing mood, probably why i feel depressed
tonight and serena kept asking whats wrong...nothing
really.

We drank tonight, serenas upset about stuff with Nick. I
hate dealing with people that are crying or upset about
something. I never know what to do or say. Someone once
told me i handle people like that well.

Some whore's been ripping down KNH stickers off our
doors...Julia found out who it was...Janelle..don't know
thw whore, but i guess jason does. hmm...wonder what shes
gonna do tonight when she sees that on jason's door..hmm.
Jason told me about Beth, fuckin whore i knew something
was fishy about that girl..i'm never wrong!

Heather im'd me..asked me what those things about kelly
meant...i duno which ones. but whatever. Honestly it's my
fuckin journal theres a disclaimer when you come upon
anyones fuckin diary or journal that your gonna read shit
that you might not like to know. So don't come complaining
to me when u see something in there about you cuz it's the
truth.

Works going really well, i offically have a full time job
this summer and possibly a part time job in the fall i'm
excited. Now i need to find a home for the summer...Erica
a friend of mine said i could get a place with her and her
boyfriend but i duno if i'm gonna or not. I think kelly's
gonna back out too.

Ma's nervous about a family meeting this weekend regarding
my grampas camp...i hope things go well. My aunt shirley's
one year anniversary is coming up. Can't beleive it's been
a year. I do miss her alot, i think of her often too. Hard
for me to understand and take in a wonderful perfect
strong woman like that to suffer for 5 years and then it
all ends. I duno what i would ever do if my mother got
breast cancer like the rest of her family.

i guess i'm out for the night...hopefully tomorrow will be
a better day :/

luv ya
rach




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