Thoughts of His girl
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2004-04-02 00:48:23 (UTC)

Does He Know??

Does he know the pain and rejection I feel inside? Does he
even have a clue. Thismorning leah IMed teling me Luke was
there and I was so happy. The day passed and 20 minutes
before I had to leave he came online. He said he would be
here but wasnt when i got home from getting aaron. It
kills me .. it was a tease. Just a taste of time with him
to snatch it away. ( sighs) I know it its not
intentionaly , god I hope its not. He make my heart race .
Ilove him so very much. But I die when he stays away.
Myspirite , my fire, my passion, my focus all fade.

I have had a roller coaster of emotions and I am totally
drained. I am lashing out at friends who are totally
clueless to why. (sighs) I loved the short time we had and
I know hes at leahs till Monday... but I feel so rejected.
I know its not how it is , notintentionally an ways. But
in my heart that is how it feels and it hurts so damn bad.
I cried when he pulled me into his lap , and Im sittingher
crying again now. I feel numb and lost.

(takes adeep breath)

Does he relize how much I love him. How much it hurts when
hes away? Does he feel the same way? He made myheart jump
into mythroat whenhe caleld me babe today. Made me blush
like a school girl when he said He I was beautiful.
Myheart shattered when he wasnt here when I came back ...
and I wonder if he knows.

I know his r/t and mine are hectic right now, and I dont
fault him that. I know the rejection isnt intentional I
know he would never abandon me or hurt me purposly. But I
do feel rejected. I feel alone . I feel hurt so deep my
body aches. I love him so very much . I hope things settle
soon . I need Him so much. Does he even relize? Does he
have a clue?

I love him completly. I want no other. I only want him. I
need him like I need my very breath. Does he know?

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