vilverin

red sky at night shepherds delight, red
2004-04-01 20:57:22 (UTC)

there is no title, just soar

so much for martin bringing his little book on wed. he
came, no book.

sorry but alot of this is about amanda. she has changed.
drastically. it all came sorta slowly when we were with
her, the self harm, not eating and i think she is bulimic
cos she tries to throw up and sometimes succeeds when she
has had to eat. coming back from germany she seems really
different. (me and sarah where talking abotu this) she
ignors us, she seems really distant, she always moans
about being depressed and fat (around 7-8 stone at 5 ft 5
is not fat) and all she can do is rant or moan bout
people. she doesnt listen any more, she doesnt listen when
we try tell her our problems or when we try to help her.
it is just all too much to take.

i dont know what to say any more.

at the youth club they all went to dillons cos they said
it was too quiet. i ended up doing nothing. i dont know
why i go to youth club any more. it always makes me feel
bad.

i really need to cry and i cant. Life is just getting too
much for me, i think it is for Pat aswell, but he has more
to worry about. i really shouldnt be complaining about
petty things like this but i am not strong within myself.
i am really weak. i resort to writing in an online diary
and trying to get random people from the internet reply to
me. i let the people on the internet, who i dont even know
see the real me and i cant even open up to my friends and
family. i cant even open up to stephen and that makes me
feel really bad.

two, maybe one year(s) ago i would have never imagined
this. i had a good strong group of friends for once in my
life. i trusted them and got on with them well. i started
to have a social life, school was fine and i was generally
happy with my life and getting on well. and i get to this.

how?

i dont know

i dont know what else to write.... This song by Christina
Aguilera (sp?) Soar. it is really good. here are the
lyrics.

Soar

When they push, when they pull
Tell me can you hold on
When they say you should change
Can you lift your head high and stay strong

Will you give up, give in
When your heart's crying out "that is wrong"
Will you love you for you at the end of it all

Now in life there's gonna be times
When you're feeling low
And in your mind insecurities seem to take control
We start to look outside ourselves
For acceptance and approval
We keep forgetting that the one thing we should know is

Don't be scared
To fly alone
Find a path that is your own
Love will open every door

See in your hands the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know
All the answers you will unfold
What are you waiting for
Spread your wings and soar

The boy who wonders, is he good enough for them
Keep trying to please them all
But he just never seems to fit in
Then there's the girl who thinks she'll never ever be
Good enough for him
He's trying to change and
That's a game she'll never win

In life there will be times when you're feeling low
And in your mind insecurities seem to take control
We start to look outside ourselves
For acceptance and approval
We keep forgetting that one thing we should know is

Don't be scared
To fly alone
Find a path that is your own
Love will open every door

See in your hands the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know
All the answers they will unfold
What are you waiting for
Spread your wings and soar

In the mirror is where she comes
Face to face with her fears
Her reflection looked forward on to her
After all these years
However how she's tried to be
Something besides herself
Now time has passed and she's ended up
Somewhere else with regret

What is it is that makes us feel the need
To keep pretending
Gotta let ourselves be

Don't be scared
To fly alone
Find a path that is your own
Love will open every door

See in your hands the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know
All the answers you will unfold
Don't wait no more
Spread your wings and soar Find your road
Love will open every door
See in your hands the world is yours
Don't look back in the window, you'll find your way
Always know all the answers will unfold

Oh don't wait
Spread your wings and soar
Don't wait no more
You've got to soar
Spread your wings and soar
Don't wait no more
No don't you wait no more
Spread your wings and soar
You've can soar

So what you waiting for
Don't wait, Don't wait
Soar


I think this part is important :- In life there will be
times when you're feeling low and in your mind
insecurities seem to take control we start to look outside
ourselves for acceptance and approval we keep forgetting
that one thing we should know is don't be scared to fly
alone find a path that is your own love will open every
door see in your hands the world is yours
don't hold back and always know all the answers they will
unfold what are you waiting for spread your wings and soar.

Also When they push and pull i cant hold on. When they
tell me i should change i cant life my head high and stay
strong.

lilleo




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