Anonymous

A Story a Day
2004-03-31 22:13:55 (UTC)

Day Thirty-One: Chip Day

5:05pm
The grand experiment is coming to a close and as i told a
friend earlier today, i can see progress. however small I
now have record of days when i was at my happiest in
while and days when i was deeply low. i've realized a lot
about my sleeping and my energy levels and mostly how
women affect me. it's been importn tot do this.
unfortunately i can't end it with a night of working out
because i have to go hang out with a friend for a few
hours while she's in town. it's fine. i'm confident in
my desire to return to it tomorrow. i'm capable of
convincing myself of aweful and painful truths and i need
to stop myself from sinking into hose rationels. it's one
day at a time. tomorrow will feel like day one all over
again. just as long as it doesn't feel like day 19.

11:11pm
I recieved thanks for sending the sculpture. it may sound
unneccesary and worthless at this point but it means the
world to me. recongnition. the feeling that someone is
thinking about what i say and think and do and reading what
i'm writing and cherishing what i send them. it's
effectively what i've learning to live for. i hate but it's
true. i hate it because i want to somehow live for myself.
exist as an island i suppose. but maybe that's just as
unhealthy as being needy. and so it's over. but just
beginning. i'm going to go many many more day 31's before i
feel like i can do this without some record of each and
every day. i need to stay focused. ready for anything.
especially bullshit blonde girls.




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