How would you ever guess.
Arkansas a great way of life.
So I talked to Kim today and i was tellng her all about my
Arkansas adventures. She was laughing her ass off and told
me that i should share them with all of you who read
this.... so here it is.
Now first off...They are big on drugs down here. Ihave
never seen so many fucking drugs in my entire life. The
first night i was here we went to my sisters friends house
to watch thier band practice.... they smoked a joint that
was about as big as my freakin arm..the thing was huge.
Then there was this guy there...who was about 30..and my
sister said that she wasnt going to introduce me to him
because she knew how he was.... umm yeah okay. Im all set
anyway...the guy was a freak. He was video taping the
rehersal...i think he got more of the floor then he did
anything else. He talked to him self like a mother fucker.
If I talked to myself that much i would never need friends
So we left the country side..and went back to the city,
where things are half way normal...or so i thought.
SO last night my oldest nephew Evan says to me while we
are sitting on the front porch on the swing (if that
doesnt remind you of the south then i dont know what does)
"Hey Aunty, wanna play ding dong ditch?"...now for all of
who dont know what that is...you go to a house ring the
door bell and hide...then the person comes to the door and
no one is there. So i said to him " no freakin way, with
my luck someone will come out with a shot gun and shoot
me" He says "NO aunty they dont have shot guns...well i
think that guy down there does but thats just for
protection"....umm yeah sure ill ply with you now...end my
then my sister say we have to to go the store after dinner
to get some milk. Now earlier on in the weekend i had
mentioned to them that they only have highways... I was
like you have to drive on the damn highway to get to the
grocery store... WTF! So Chris (my brother in law)
says "yeah well we could go to the store in our
neighborhood but its the neighborHOOD store...ya know with
homies and stuff"... haha okay lets not go there..... But
last night my sister decideds thats where she wants to
take me... so we walk in and theres a security guard...
yeah in the grocery store.... so i comment.... my sister
then proceeds to tell me the story about how the manager
was shot to death in a robbery.... woohoo yeah lets go
shoppin... So we walk in...past the fucked up guy on the
curb..who is totally checkin me out...(only the nasty
guys...why??) Then into the store..where there are so many
fucking black people its not even funny... Now i have
nothin against black people...but holy shit they were
eveywhere. I almost got taken out my some fat ladys ass...
it was scary man..
Oh and then my nephew tells me.... I got kissed by a girl
at school... so im like oh yeah..who? He says Shaniqua...
yeah there really are girls named that... haha i was
laughing my ass off. it was great. He got the brown suga.
well thats all for my southern adventures for now... ill
be sure to share more later.
im off to take a bath now.. becuase they do not have a
shower... yeah and you wonder why i want to come home now.