Angel

Angry

Tommy called his mother three times yesterday, she did not
pick up, he went to see them, pressed the door bell sevral
times, and no one opend.
His grandmother had talked to his mother earlyer that day,
she belived she had been drinking, but wassnt sure. She
said she got off work at 12, but the grandmother belive
she is lying. Emmas father had been to work, so we think he
came home sometime late Sunday...
The grandmother was afriad Emmas mother would not take Emma
to the hospital (Emma has a desease) this week, she has to
travel by plain, and its quite important that she goeas
there.
But I dont think shes failing as a mother that way, I
belive she will go, Tommy think so to, but are not sure.
Today Tommy got a message from his mother "hi, did you try
to call me last night? I went to bed at 19.10, I hope we
are stil friends. Im taking Emma to (that city) tomorrow.

I have feelt verry angry the last few days. Since I came
home from work Sattuday anf found out that she had been
drinking. I have been verry angry with Emmas mother and
father, but also at Tommy for not doing much, and his
grandmother for never have done anything.
But I have also feelt a lot of aggresson to my own father,
I have not been home since, but stil I have been verry
angry with him. Why have he put us trugh all this, why
would he never addmit that he had a problem, get help, talk
to us, his children about his desises, or just go away and
leave us alone?
Im angry with him for all the Satturday nights he started a
joke and it ended up with at least one of us grying, then
he yelled at us!
He was the one giggling us to hard, to much and we always
hated beeing giggled, even though we laught, it was a
reflex.
But Ive also been angry with my mother, I know that I`ve
said that shes the perfect mother and my friends envie me,
but is she so perfect if she is able to sit in the sofa
every Satturday night instead of stopping her husbond?
Why diddnt she get divorced?
Im sure she loved him, but he was not just a horrible
father, he was not the perfect husbond eather. I cant
belive he made her happy, there where more bad days than
good.

Its just to much to me right now, to manny stupid grown ups
and to much alcohol. Its not that I exspect parents to be
perfect, just to be parents, resposible grown ups.
I need to focus on my studying, I have two important exams
in May.
Now im in the city, Im going home to day. But first is
Gracie comming to town, we are gonna have some fun today,
go to the movies or something.
Friday me, Karoline and my older cusin are going to the
teather agen, and I got tickets to this band playing in
April, but I feel that I cant enjoy anythig of it. Cant
look forward cause BANG, something is gonna smash it, like
Tommys mother drinking in front of Emma.
Bu I hope that wont happend in a while, so I can update in
in my Tommy world, and about Chris next time:-)

Love Angel