dragon_amor

Kami
2004-03-30 10:28:08 (UTC)

Another anniversary?? Already?? HOW??

Yes, this diary just gets more and more nostalgic, n'est
pas?

I started this diary as a way to help myself cope, and the
catalyst that led to me seeking coping mechanism, as you
could have guessed if you read all my diary, was an ex-
girlfriend of mine named Breezy.

Well, three years later, she writes me. I instinctively
recoil - but after thinking over it for a few months, I
decided yesterday that I was ready, that I was healed
enough to possibly leave my guard down. All the pain and
psychosis I went through seemed to flush and run through
me all at once, coming to a climax where I just
sidestepped spiritual ninjitsu buddha style - and let it
go by. I checked my email, and seen that she had added me
to her MSN list, so maybe this timing was speaking for
itself - I wrote her a letter - I told her anytime, I'm
ready to give her the chance I really denied her before,
to show me what has changed and to maybe even be friends
again.

So far - I am really glad I did. I got an email yesterday
like that I had only wished possible before. We had a
great long chat on MSN Messenger as well - which was
weird, becuase I she was logged in AND visible today
shortly after I emailed her... so either strange
coincidence or cause and effect.

At any rate - any devoted reader may actually deserve, in
a way to see what was said - which is readily available,
and I do love to share - but all I can share with you on
this one is my apology to you, reader, and my thanx for
understanding when I say again, that some things in life
were just yours to know and experience, they weren't
things to be shared - and I really appreciate what
happened yesterday and I am not going to cheapen the
experience. Just be happy that a HUGE weight that I've
been carrying for a LONG time now has VERY SIGNIFICANTLY
been reduced.

And smile.