2004-03-30 03:53:25 (UTC)

sorrie been a while

Hey sorrie i havent been on in a while, i was grounded. it
sucked, my dad freaked out and decided to ground me for
like 3 days because of the cutting, then he decided to
ground me for the rest of the week because i accidentally
went out when i wasnt supposed to and forgot to come home
until like 6:30 the next night, so he had another freak
out, like holy just cause i went out and had some fun
doesnt mean he has to ground me. But anyways, Me and Ians
relationship is going reallie well, he tells me he loves me
all the time, but sometimes i dont know if he says it cause
he reallie does or because he is just used to saying it. i
know that i do love him though i dont just say it for the
sake of saying it
oh ya, i reallie wanted to slap Ashley today in gym. I was
like yeah right like a can actually do this (cause we were
doing hurdles) and she was all like then you shouldnt be
doing gym then. I know im writing alot, its just
cause i havent written lately. but i will be able to write
more now cause ya, im not grounding anymore, yay. well i
should probly stop boring you now. oh ya, one more thing,i
talked to my mom on the weekend, fuck did that ever piss me
off, she told me to quite, and i told her it wasnt that
easy that i couldnt just stop cause she says so, i told her
it was kinda like her and smoking, it is like an addiction,
and she just said, no its not dont be stupid. its like, how
could she possibly know if it is like an addiction or not?
its not like she has ever done it or anything. and that
brings me to another point, with the whole smoking thing.
Ian said that he would try to help me stop cutting and that
he is reallie worried about me cause he loves me and all
that, he even tried making me a deal, he would stop smoking
if i stoped cutting. i dont think he is going to go through
with it though, cause he has been smoking, and ya.

As Always, fade away:
Meagan. R.

P.s: I havent cut for 6 days now. although im worried im
gunna do it again soon, i've had the craving to cut for
like 2 days now, and the whole dizzy dark thing when i dont
cut and need to is starting again. i hope it goes away
before i have to cut.

P.S.S: Alicia, your a sweetie.

As Always, fade away:
Meagan. R.