lonely butterfly

FunGuS * aMOunG *uS
2004-03-29 18:45:56 (UTC)

tImEs LIkE thEse..(old stuff)-friday morning

Well, the only reason I have not written in like a month is
because my stupid phone company are basards!
I dont have a freakin dial tone. Question...
Is it possible to say sorry, and not mean it, and then get
tired of saying something you DO but DONT mean?
I mean it most of the time...but sometimes its just a
habbit.
another question..WHERE THE HELL ARE MY C.D's??
anyways..
I am planning to go to the beach this Sat. (tomorrow)
I might take my car, but most likely we are going to
take my mothers car. She is STILL bitching about
insurance. Besides that, my baby shower..It was
Sunday March 21, 2004 I called like 3 days in advance,
but "slick" wasnt HOME! on a good note, I , well JEADYN
got a lot of koolio stuff. The only thing I really didnt
get was bottles. I got plenty of t-shirts and blankets, and
other great stuff.
This baby is getting on my nerves and hurting me 60%
of my day I cant breath when people are too close to me,
and I get really mad easily (sorry to Ashley).
So far things with my girlfriend and I are good. I try not
to be mean to her and get moody, but sometimes, I cant help
it.I am just grouchy.(im sure this isnt just Jaedyn, Ashes
would know) I mean, you would be too if you were
carring around 45 extra pounds. Life get really depressing
you know... And I just get sad. I just cant wait till
Jaedyn is born. Then I can go on my diet that WORKS. The
one that got me feeling great! AND, I can go to the beach
this summer.
"tImEs LIkE thEse"..*bad shit is said*
I know EVERYONE is telling me all kinds of bad
shit like:
"your not going to enjoy yourself",
"Your life isnt YOURS anymore"
"your not a teenager anymore"
"Life isnt fun anymore"
Your going to get tired of him, BLAH BLAH fucking BLAH.
I just want to give him up for adoption. I dont want him
anymore!
I want to go away.Its times like these where I dont know why
the hell I just didnt stab my self in the stomach when I
had the chance.
Do damage to myself for the better. God Im so fucking
stupid.
Then there are times like, thinking about the beach, and
tat's and PIERCINGS
good things like that.
I dont know....
TOODLES




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