tami{Luther}

Thoughts of His girl
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2004-03-28 15:47:27 (UTC)

Depression

Its been a week since I have talked to Master and I havent
heard from leah in a couple of days. ( sighs ) I wish
Master would call, this is why I gave him my number. He is
having his things sent from the France to UK I dont know
when he will be back online I cant email him its full both
on MSN and GCN. (sighs) I wrote several dances and I cant
send them I miss him so very much .

I went to the Doc Friday. My body has beenhruting , my
bones ache, Im am alwaystied and I have to force myself
to eat Its been like this for a little over a week The
docor says its emotional stress. He ran all kinds of blood
work and stuff , okay I can buyt hat I guess Ihave been
getting reallydepressed lately. Maybe these thigns are my
body reacting. I dunno. I hope I get out of this fun
really soon though.


Maybe the conversation ( blowup ) with Gina helped.;
Yesterday when she was out in the morning she called me to
let me know she was coming home with company so I was able
to get dressed. Just a little thing but its a good change.

Friday when I picked aaron up from school he had a metal
from the principal He got student of the week.I am so
proud of him. I was worried Friday bc he had a sub. and I
had an apt so I wasnt home most of the morning but I had
to go to the apt. I am trying to modify my custody and
child support, get his disability, and get us a place of
our own. I have to go back to another meeting the 30th at
10 . They said it would only take 3- 45 minutes.

Seems Fieras / Robbie is retiring Fieras from Gor.; He
told me yesterday he is waiting for his 14 days to be
over. He was openly called a liar by many bc of the
situation with destine / Des. (shrugs) she was a FW that
was collared bc she was stupid. She has since had her ear
peirced ( symbol of eternal slavery) yet has been
reeleased back to a FW, FM will do as FM do however I
think that she is setting herself up and played another
weak Man . (shrugs) Fieras / Robbie's FC even openly
called him a liar. Did he get into trouble bc of a
thretening e-mail sent to him bc he opened it at work (
sighs) Reality is I will never know but he is my friend ,
been here for me time and time ago , so I h ave to trust
him, bc hes giving me nor eason not to.

(takes a deep breath ) I am trying really hard to stay
focused these days but I feel so empty and lost. My heart
feels heavy and my body numb. I miss Master so very much.
Does he think about me?? Is his son okay?? Does he miss
me?? Does he feel the way I do when we dont talk ?? (sighs)


I am exhausted , I went to sleep early last night about
11 , and I feel so tired . I hate feeling like this ! Okay
I am crawling back into bed.


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