Rush

I'll hold my breath
2004-03-28 10:34:40 (UTC)

Broken

I found the music video of Willow and Tara with the
song "Iris". It was the first time I had heard the song...
with this music video. God... I'll never forget the night
I saw this music video. This song, this music video...
they all take me back to the past. I love you. I love you
so much. For some reason I didn't feel too good...
emotionally. I still don't. I don't want to feel like
this. I don't even know what I'm feeling. Make it stop.
Please... I don't want to hurt anymore. I just want you. I
I shouldn't feel like this. I should be happy. But there's
this feeling I can't discribe. It's like this ache inside
of me. It hurts. But I'll be strong. It's not fair to
you... how much I need you. It's not and I'm sorry. God...
Marlyna... this song, it's like it opens apart of me that
still hurts. Marlyna... I love you so much. I love you so
much. With such a love that can not be discribed. Why do I
hurt? Please make it stop. I love you. I'm yours, forever
and always. And you're mine. It's hard for me to say that.
Did you know that? I'm sorry... it shouldn't be, but for
some reason it is. When I say it I feel like I'm trapping
you. I love you. Please hold me... and never let go.

~Katie

P.S.~
I don't know if what I wrote makes sense or not. I do know
it's what I'm feeling right now. Or atleast something like
it. I may not remember what I wrote in here tonight, but I
wrote in here thinking about you. God... I can never stop
thinking about you. I need you. I want you. And I feel so
bad for needing you so much. I will never feel bad about
wanting you too much, but I feel like I'm being selfish
when I say I need you because you have a life of your own.
The thing is, you're my life. I think I said that
before... not sure. But I was writing down here to tell
you that this may not make sense... but it's what I'm
feeling. And I wanted you to know that right now I'm
stoned. I don't want to sound prude (is that the word?),
but I am. I don't want you to read this and think I put my
heart and soul into this entry. But, I do want you to
realize this is what I'm feeling. Because you should know
what I'm feeling because I'm yours. I love you. I love you
so much. BTW, "Broken" is the name of the w/t music vid.
that "Iris" is used in. And If I forget, can you remind me
to read this in the morning. Thanx. Hope you and Amy(?)
had fun. I love you. I'll be here all day today... or the
day you wake up. Whatever day that is. I love you and I'll
send you the link to the music video if you want it. I
love you with all that I am. You have my heart, soul and
body.

~Your Snowbunny




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