confessions of a never ceasing mind
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2004-03-27 06:37:56 (UTC)


She steps into the light, blinking for a few moments to
allopw her eyes to adjust, her hand over the brows. She
understands now, understands the way things are, good or
bad, she understands, that sometimes a secret should be
told, before consequences destroy you, as hers have

She feels the stirrings of anger flaring in her heart, the
embers of pain, exposed by the wind of new fears. Or
rather new fears with an older basis......

He makes her feel special, feel wanted, feel cared
for....she had always wanted to feel special, now someone
cared that she had a bad day, was proud when she brought
home a sunny sticker, (she was nine) she soaked it like a
thirsty sponge. She was his little girl, she could not wait
to see him. He told her she was special, but she could not
tell anyone, it was their secret her secret boyfriend, and
it used to bring a smile to her. She felt pretty to him,
and loved. She told her freinds at school of her older
sixteen year old boyfreind, smiling smugly. She does not
smile now, she cringes, as the stupidity, the niavette she
was, made her think she was loved. He trapped her into a
corner, backing her up, she cried, begging him to please
stop, let her go, she would not tell anyone, just let her
go.....she mvoes from the corner, moving along the wall,
hoping to escape.....his touch is not as soft, not as
brushing as it had been, no it was more insistant, it
scared her, and she wanted to break away.......
his outline is black, no shape no name no description. Her
heart pounds in her chest, she cannot move, he has her now,
taking her to a place until then had been for rest, never
more, it would be a place of darkness, a place of secrets,
a place of haunting. She had been saved physically,but
emotionally she was violated, laid desolate, trust so
fragile broken like a flute glass upon the rocks

Her age old fears play on her heart now. One again makes
her feel wanted, feel special, feel loved. She realizes
that she is making a parallel that never existed, and
pushes on, finally the light flooding over her, staring
into the sunrise of new possibilities. WIll he turn from
her? Will her dark and secret past choke the fragile
thought of happiness in her broken heart? Or will eros
triumph, taking her to a place of eternal dawn, where she
greets the light with open arms? Will her heart be
soothed, the open wounds close, the festering wounds heal,
the scars fade?

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